I Can’t Even Make This Sh*t Up


I swear infertility is stalking me now, permeating every part of my life, even those areas I thought were safe. Last night I joined J at his boss’s house for their department Christmas get together, just a small gathering with around 10 or so people. Almost none of these people have children (actually come to think of it, I don’t know if any of them do…), so there were no kids around. Just a group of adults having a nice evening together. When I arrived they were just starting to play a murder/mystery game, one of those things where everyone gets a character and there are scripted interactions,  to lead your through and at the end you have to guess who is the murderer (kind of like a real life version of clue).

Throughout the game there are clues to add suspicion to some of the characters. Well one of the clues happened to be a prescription for fertility medication that one of the characters, “Tara”, had taken to get pregnant by her fiance’s twin brother. (I know, it was a weird game). It was funny because the fake prescription even had legit instructions on it like, take from cycle days 3 – 7…ect. But, the weirdest part, is that my dear hubby was playing the character of Tara’s fiance, who was unable to get her pregnant, which is why she was sleeping with his brother. So. Strange. When we got home later that night I mentioned to J how weird it was, and that as soon as the clue mentioned fertility meds, and the instructions did he not immediately think, oh Clomid!

Seriously, it was like a weird omen or something, because today is CD1, and I start Clomid on Monday. So, just as I suspected our cycle of “not trying” did not magically get us pregnant. As Lindsey at Awaiting Autumn says, it’s going to be a “Clomid Christmas”. Luckily last time I took Clomid it didn’t send me for a loop or anything, but I did have a lot of headaches. How fun for me over Christmas. Naaaawt! 

So I called the clinic today to book my IUI appointments for Jan. 2, 3, and 4. I have to use OPK’s and I only go in the day after I get a positive. I spoke to the nurse about in what situation would I have follice monitoring, and she said only when you are on injectables do they do that, and then the Dr. will trigger ovulation, and book your IUI for the appropriate day. I asked at what point do they recommend this, as I am only using Clomid and OPK’s at this point. She said usually they do 3 unmonitored cycles, and then move to something else (ie. injectables, IVF, whatever). Which is sort of what the Dr. M said, is that we would try 3 cycles just with Clomid (the stats for success decline drastically after 3 cycles of IUI) and then go from there. He didn’t say what would come after those 3 cycles, but I don’t really want to find out. I said to the nurse that using injectables probably gives a better chance as it is more accurate then? She said it is more accurate in pinpointing ovulation, because it is triggered and then they know how many follies we’re working with as well. She said that I could talk to the nurse and possibly my Dr. about doing that for my 3rd try (if we get to that point).

So I am glad I asked, and am taking charge. If we are setting a limit on ourselves to take an extended break from TTC to pursue other things in our lives after the 3rd cycle then I want to know that we gave it our best shot. Even though I am scared sh*tless about having to use injectables (and the possibility of multiples, dear gawd help me if that happens). So we’ll see where that goes. I know it is pessimistic to be thinking past the cycle I just started but I’ve got to think about these things, so I can stay on top of it all.

Also, interesting side note; I asked the nurse about how to count my CD if my period starts very late in the day/overnight (like it did this time) and she said if it starts after 4pm, the next day of full flow is your CD1. Good to know! On to cycle #20…


Pulling Out All the Stops


Today I did something that I would have previously never considered. It’s something a lot of people have done, and do. Infertility or no, it’s growing in popularity. I am a very analytical person, I like facts, figures, science. I do not have a spiritual side, I am not religious. So this went against my nature, but more and more there have been stats to back the results of acupuncture. I know, I know, tons of people do it. It’s no big deal!

I have never delved into any Eastern medicine, even during this journey of infertility. Not that acupuncture is the same as strange herbs, or tea made with who-knows-what, but still. I probably should have been on this sooner, but I just recently got added to J’s benefit plan through work that covers things like, fertility drugs (but not treatment, figure that one out), massage, and acupuncture (among other things, lucky I know). So I figured I may as well take advantage of said benefits. I’ve read things about acupuncture being good for fertility and being used as a complement to IUI, so I figured why not. It can’t hurt, right?

Well, no it doesn’t. Not really. It was a very weird feeling, the needles going in was just a little tap and poke. There were a couple that were a bit uncomfortable, and I have a funny teeny little bruise on my collar bone, but otherwise it was just…strange. It’s hard to describe, but it felt like the area around the needle was being drawn in. As if the needle was a magnet, and my skin magnetic. It was very odd. I had one in my forehead, right between my eyebrows and it made me feel like I was permanently furrowing my eyebrows. There was also one in the top of my head, that at one point she turned. Ewww, that was a gross feeling. It still felt a bit hippy-dippy, like the acupuncturist was talking about my energies, and the yin and yang of my cycle. All sounded a bit hocus pocus to me, but I can’t say it felt like nothing. So that’s something.

Despite the fact that I wasn’t totally sold on it, I did book another appointment for next week. I also have a massage booked the same day, as well as yoga every Sunday. Yoga is more just because I enjoy it, but again, I don’t really connect with the spiritual side of it. Luckily I do it at a community rec centre, not a yoga studio, so there is no incense, or super hardcore yogis. Just regular folk getting’ their yoga on.

I do have to add a side note that the place I went for my acupuncture listed fertility acupuncture on their website, as well as pregnancy acupuncture. Because they are a spa/boutique for mommies to be. So it was real fun when I walked in to be greeted with maternity photos, and all sorts of pregnancy and baby related goods. I sooo felt like I didn’t belong. Thank goodness the receptionist didn’t ask me if I was pregnant. Maybe they just assume that. But it seemed like a decent place, it’s close to my house, and the prices are decent. Who knows, maybe I’ll be able to go there as a pregnant woman for some spa time, or a massage or something.

I’ve tried a lot of silly things to help aide my fertility in the past; I’ve done the prop your butt up with a pillow, I’ve drank the green tea, I’ve eaten the pineapple, I’ve taken the Mucinex, I chart my BBT, I take an assortment of supplements (and J does as well). I just last night opened a new bottle of prenatal vitamins. So I’ve been pregnant zero times, yet I’m on my 5th bottle of these suckers. There are 100 in each bottle. So by now I must be, like super healthy or something. Right?

We don’t have a lot of time left before our next IUI so I don’t know if this will make any difference, but we also don’t have a lot of time left on our self-imposed timeline. So I’m pulling out all the stops.