Sort of.

I’ve been wondering how to announce my pregnancy at work. I’ve felt as though my growing waistline was going to require some answers soon (though maybe it’s just me who notices, because everyone else still thinks I’m tiny). I work in a small enough department that an email was not really appropriate (too impersonal) but going to every person individually felt unnecessary, and attention seeking. Besides, how does one even start that conversation?

“Hey, how’s it going? Oh that’s good, well I’m pregnant so there’s that.”

It’s all just so awkward. I’ve been hemming and hawing about it for a while now but couldn’t come up with anything that felt right. I sort of had intentions to say something this week, but when I just couldn’t think of anyway to say it, I thought maybe I’d just keep trying to hide my (albeit little) bump for a little while longer.

When I came in to work today one of my coworkers came up to me and told me that she had a dream about me, and that in it I was pregnant. I’m not sure what my face looked like at that moment. I sort of chuckled and said something along the lines of “Ohhh, hmmm.” Very inconspicuous. I nearly just blurted it out right then and there, but I held my tongue. It caught me so off guard, I was left speechless.

But after she said it, I couldn’t stop thinking about how it would have been the perfect opportunity to say something, it was my in. I went into my bosses office a short time later and told her what had transpired (my boss already knows) and that I was going to use that to tell everyone today. She was excited because she didn’t want to keep my secret anymore.

So once most of my coworkers had arrive for the day, I went over to the one who told me about her dream, and I said to her that the dream she had wasn’t wrong. She just stared at me with wide eyes, and one of our other coworkers who knew what I was talking about came over and gave me a hug. Then, I had to fill in the couple of others that were there what the dream was. Everyone got teary eyed, and they were all very excited for me. I knew that would be the case, but I’ve been hesitant about sharing, to protect my privacy and in case something bad happens.

It’s sort of nice to have it out there because I might get a pass on a crabby attitude (which has been happening more lately), or not feeling great, or whatever. At the same time, now there are a lot of people who know, and it makes me terrified that something bad is going to happen, and I’m going to have to go back and tell all of those people. It’s mostly irrational, but one of the reasons why I wanted to wait and not tell anyone until I had to. But they are all excited, and want to throw me a shower, and fawn over me, which is sort of nice. I’m the youngest in my department by a long shot, and the first to have a baby in about 11 years, so they’re all like excited little mother hens.

I knew word would travel quickly to our other departments, and soon I had one of the ladies come over to have me confirm it. So I’m sure everyone else will know soon enough, which is exactly what I wanted. Tell a few gossipy ones, and the rest will hear about it. So that’s taken care of.

After the shock and excitement of my announcement wore down,  one of my counterparts suddenly realized I was going to be going on mat. leave and that “oh shit” look hit her face. I have to say it was pretty awesome. Being the youngest, I am by far the most tech savvy in the office, and everything we do is technology based, and changes a lot. So I am practically the in-house tech support. Not to mention I am a bit of a jack of all trades in our department, so I am able to help in several different areas and they are going to be slightly screwed when I’m gone. And it makes me a bit gleeful. Perhaps then they’ll appreciate my all around-ness. I know that sounds conceited, but there are certain times I don’t know how they manage without me. I mean obviously they do, I am not indispensable, but I am pretty useful. The look of despair on my bosses face at the thought of trying to find someone to cover my leave made me feel good.

I have some girlfriends to tell this weekend over brunch, and then I’m really in it with the world knowing. We’re not going Facebook official, I feel it unnecessary; the people who we want to know, will know and the rest don’t matter. Plus I know what it’s like being on the other side of one of those Facebook announcements and I’m not about to do that to anyone else. I’m no longer protected in my bubble of secrecy, and the attention shining in my direction is making me somewhat uncomfortable.