#Microblog Mondays: Regaining Some Balance

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Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

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This Sunday I went to my first prenatal yoga class. It’s an eight week course, with class once a week, every Sunday. I used to attend a Hatha yoga class every Sunday but I stopped going sometime last July, just before we started our IVF cycle. First it was because of the discomfort of my giant ovaries, then risk of ovarian torsion. Then I was gearing up for my transfer cycle, which ended up being 5 months after the retrieval. I think really I was just having a hard time keeping my head above water and yoga felt like one more thing I “had” to do. Though in hindsight, it probably would have been the best thing for me.

I didn’t want to return to my regular yoga class as it is not intended for pregnancy, and I don’t want to inadvertently do something that will cause me any injury (thought there was a woman in my class last year and she stayed all through-out her pregnancy). I was also being very careful about my physical activity through my first trimester, as I am a pretty sedentary person in the first place. But as I have been feeling my body getting weaker, and I am not as limber as I once was, it was time to get back into something.

The class was really good, lots of pelvic floor strengthening, stretches for back, spine, and opening of the chest. I am not so in tune with the spiritual side of yoga, but I love the way it makes my body feel so relaxed and open. It was a bit odd, as obviously it was only pregnant women in my class and I was probably one of the smallest “bumps” in the room (I wore a skin tight shirt just so I wouldn’t look like some looney-tunes pregnancy faker). I still didn’t feel like I really fit in, and because I am still relatively small I didn’t have any difficulties with the poses (probably some of my muscle memory coming back too). But it felt good, so I tried to just take it for what it was, an enjoyable yoga class that happens to be for pregnant women.

*Sorry Mel, I really suck at the “Micro” part of Microblog Mondays!

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#Microblog Mondays: Giving Thanks

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Today is Canadian Thanksgiving, also known just as “Thanksgiving”… I am very thankful for so much that I have in my life today. Things could definitely be worse and there are those that would envy what I have. But rather than list the things I am thankful for in a somewhat humble brag-ish way I’ll say I’m aware of what I have and feel gratitude for it.

On the flip side of that coin, things could be better. I have some major stressors in my life at the moment, infertility being the biggest/worst. I’m not going to say that just because I have gratitude for the good in my life that I don’t feel sad for what I’m missing. I know things could be worse, but sometimes they feel shitty enough as is without trying to slough off the grief because I am fortunate in other parts of my life. There are many many lucky people who will never have to experience the pain of infertility and I wish I could have been one of them.

All in all it’s about balance. I try not to take for granted the good I have in my life, but I allow myself to acknowledge the shitty aspects of my life as well. Trying not to let either side win out, getting buoyed too high, or dragged too low. I give thanks for the clarity and insight to see my life for what it is, imperfect.