Growing a Person is Weird


Well, here we are at a bit over 22 weeks along, just hanging out. I get “used to” the fact that I am pregnant more and more every day. With the fact that my belly is ever-expanding and my organs are regularly being used a punching/kicking bags, I am reminded often. The kicks are still pretty small in that they don’t hurt but they are getting stronger, more often and I still marvel over it. I didn’t really consider how frequent they would be until she started kicking, and now she does kick pretty regularly throughout the day. I guess I sort of figured it would just be a few kicks here and there, but I am glad for the constant reassurance. It is a bit strange though, having a conversation with a client, meanwhile a little person is kicking me in the guts. J has felt a couple of kicks but she seems determined to not let him feel because she’ll stop kicking as soon as he puts his hand on my belly, or she’ll kick in a different spot. I wish he could know what it feels like from the inside because it is so crazy, and at times it makes me squeamish because it feels like she’s kicking me right in the cervix.

A couple of weekends ago, I caved and agreed to go visit my BIL and SIL a few hours away, and collect on all of the baby stuff they have offered us. There were ten boxes stacked in the living room when I arrived, and more out in the garage. I started to go through some of it to sort what I would and wouldn’t take but it got too overwhelming so we just took all of it and decided to sort it at my leisure at home. When we came home our car was loaded down with stuff, and I told J it was all a bit overwhelming for me because a) it feels too soon for all of this stuff b) I don’t want our house filled with “things” already.

We have a decent sized place (although it’s all one level with a small loft area) and we live pretty minimalistically (is that a word? Spell check tells me no…). Not that our place is barren but we don’t have a lot of knick-knacks or clutter, but we are also not the most tidy people so it gets messy quickly if we don’t keep on top of little messes. So clearly adding another person to the household is going to make things worse. We have limited storage space, and some of the items we took won’t even be useful until baby is quite a bit older. I would prefer to take what we need for now and then rotate it out when we need the other stuff, as she grows. I said this to J and he just acts like I’m being silly, he says we’ll need it eventually, or that they won’t want to store it for us forever. I suppose both of those points are true, but we just don’t have the space! Plus we don’t even have all of the stuff we will need just for infant-hood yet. It drives me a little bit crazy but I’m hoping eventually we will get everything more organized. For now the “nursery” is full of boxes, bags and other random baby items.

I caved and bought some crib bedding because I have been having an impossible time finding something that I like, that fits the image in my head. Which apparently is unrealistic. So I bought the best I could find, because it was all 25% off and I’m a sucker for a deal. Plus I can still return it if I change my mind. That was what sealed the deal, and gave me less anxiety in committing. We wanted to do a coral and navy color scheme, with nautical accents but nothing cartoon-y or childish (as stupid as that sounds for a child’s room), it ended up being more of a standard pink than coral specifically but c’est la vie. We’re still working on the glider, because I want one that is more of an armchair than the wooden rocker with padding. If I am going to spend hundreds of dollars on a chair, it is going to be functional, comfortable and fit the rest of our decor.

Overall, I feel sort of normal most of the time. I would forget that I was pregnant if it weren’t for the hunger, and the kicks from within. I still get headaches once in a while and they are worse than anything I’ve ever had pre-pregnancy but they are less often now which is a relief. My belly is definitely rounding out, and when I wear something fitted it is pretty obvious that I am pregnant and not just gaining weight around my middle. When I’m sitting at my desk, or from behind you would still never know but it’s definitely getting more apparent. My coworkers try to get a glimpse every day, to see what I’m wearing and how big the bump is getting, and comment on how I’m growing. I can understand people who don’t see me day-to-day commenting on my growing belly, but seriously people we still have another 4 months of this to go. The running commentary is getting a little tiresome. I sort of just ignore it now, don’t indulge them with any comments or showing off the bump. I wore an empire-waisted maxi dress yesterday and it did make me look über pregnant so of course multiple people had to tell me this. I know, it’s only going to get worse, and I would rather be in this position than where I was this time last year, but I don’t get why people feel the need to state the obvious. Sometimes I find people don’t look me in the eyes they look at my belly, or if I’m out and about I see the glances at my belly. Pregnancy is such a socially weird event/process.

Being that I don’t really feel pregnant all of the time, I sometimes don’t realise that despite feeling pretty good I do have limitations. I do tire a lot easier, if I spend time out and about running errands and such I find my back gets sore, my feet tire and I am just ready for a nap. I really need to keep up on my water intake because I’ve noticed my feet seem to be a bit swollen in the mornings. I still wear heels at work (not always but I haven’t stopped just because I’m pregnant). I did have a coworker ask me when I was going to start wearing more reasonable shoes (I have a lot of shoes, most of them with a standard 3″ heel). I told her I would when it was necessary. I have a desk job, so I can comfortably wear heels all day, I’ve relegated some of my more sky-high, less comfortable pairs to the back of the closet but I’m pregnant, not made of glass. I have a bit of a hate on for maternity clothes too, as I find they are mostly ugly, limited in choice and expensive. For clothes I may never wear again, I am trying to make my existing wardrobe work, which for the most part it is. The belly belt is my best friend, I can still wear all of my regular jeans and dress pants as it acts as an extender for the buttons and clips. Probably my best maternity purchase so far.

I had a bit of concern yesterday because I was having a constant pain in my lower right abdomen that was radiating out into my back and sort of around my hip and down my leg. I thought it might be round ligament pain but it was constant throughout the day, didn’t go away when I rested, or drank water. Then Dr. Google pointed me toward pelvic girdle pain, which sounded pretty accurate. Baby girl was kicking lots so I didn’t think anything was wrong with her but my pain was giving me some concern and I wasn’t sure how I would deal with that if it was going to continue the duration of this pregnancy. I did doppler her just because I had an uneasy feeling and we heard her heart thumping away at 155 bpm. Today the pain is gone, thankfully, and then one of my pregnancy apps had a little note for today talking about body changes

Pain in your back and hips? Your body is loosening all your ligaments up for labor, which could cause some discomfort.

I knew these changes were happening but the timing on my was perfect to reassure me that nothing was really wrong. I tried to stay calm yesterday and chalk it up to normal pregnancy related discomforts. I have an appointment with my OB on Wednesday so I can discuss any issues with her then.

J has convinced me that we should probably get started on some of the baby projects, shopping, ect. Despite the fact that we still have near 4 months left, he pointed out that the weekends will go by quickly as we have lots of summer plans already, plus I work at least 2 Saturdays a month. We have a dresser to refinish, we have to tile two bathrooms (not a baby related project, but needs to be done), plus lots of reorganization of “stuff”. We finally bit the bullet and bought a second storage unit to put into our parkade so that we can move more of the crap out of the house and downstairs. Things are moving forward, it’s scary, and exciting. Can’t wait to meet our baby girl, but enjoying the precious time we have before her arrival. It’s only been 3 years in the making…