#Microblog Mondays: Stuck

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Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

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I’ve been back at work for almost 2 months now. It’s been a blur of busy-ness, and illness (mainly baby girl, and mainly from the petri dish that is daycare). I’m feeling a bit run ragged, and I think that J and I are still figuring this balance of me being back at work. Doesn’t help that I’ve also been sick for the past 2 1/2 weeks. But I have this stuck feeling. It’s a similar feeling to before I went on mat leave, before we even got pregnant. At the time, I thought I was feeling that way because we were going through infertility, and then I thought it was just pregnancy hormones, tiredness, ect.

But it seems that it wasn’t, because here I am, still feeling stuck. I didn’t think having a baby would fix my life and complete me (though she is a great addition to our lives) but I thought I would be feeling more satisfied and balanced than I am. I’ve looked at changing jobs but I don’t know what I would do, what I am even qualified for (outside of my field) plus the economy at the moment is not great for job hunting. J and I have talked about moving next year, whether it be just moving houses, or moving cities altogether. I’ve always been moving towards some thing; a goal, an event, something. I don’t know how to just be. Plus I’m tired, and stressed a lot of the time so that probably doesn’t help. I’m mostly just moaning here, because I don’t know what else to do. Life just feels like a rat race lately, and this mama is tired of runnin’.

Oh yeah, and a Happy Halloween!

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9 thoughts on “#Microblog Mondays: Stuck

  1. Going back to work as a mom is a huge transition. I won’t pretend to totally understand your situation, as it’s different from mine, but I know I had a lot of uneasy feelings the first months going back to work (didn’t help that I had to start a new job, and that my dad was seriously ill). It takes a while to “find yourself” in those new roles. While I think I’m doing better this year, the process is ongoing. A lot of the problem, I think, is the constant busyness and struggling to find time for reflection. Two months is not very long…..I suggest to regularly check in with your thoughts and feelings and give it time.

  2. I’ve felt a lot like this lately as well. I am going through infertility and all I want is to have a baby and be a stay at home Mom. I don’t want to be a part of the rat race. I don’t know what my goals are….it’s tough. I feel ya. Thanks for venting. Sometimes it is nice seeing that others feel the same way you do.

    Feel free to check out my blog. I just talk about my tough times and how I am able to get through them.

    Sometimes you just have to take it one day at a time and things will work out.

    • I totally felt that when I was trying to get pregnant. Having a baby was my way out. I knew I was going to go back to work after my year mat leave but in the moment I was just done. Now I’m back at work and there’s no foreseeable end to that so I need to suck it up and make it work.

  3. Sometimes whining on your blog is great therapy. (I mean that with love; I whine all the time in my blog posts.) I am a nurse and struggle with what I want to ultimately end up doing…because nursing is not it. So I can relate to this. And I’m sorry for all the sickness. Daycares are cesspools. Boo.

  4. I go through phases where I get sick of my job and wonder whether I should do something else. Or sometimes I just hate having to work at all and would like more free time! It helps if you can make time for things you enjoy during the week I find. Once the days get so short and it’s really wintry it can also be a bit depressing. If you do decide to look for a different job or career, good luck!

    • I don’t know if I’d be happy doing something else, it might just be annoyance with having to work at all. Yet I don’t want to be a full time stay at home mum. I think part time would be perfect but financially doesn’t make sense for us.

  5. Right now my husband & I are struggling with infertility it is so stressful working while dealing with the doctor’s appointments, treatments, & long waiting. I know we will be so grateful when we are able to have children but then there will be different types of stress & different trials to go through. I feel like it is so hard to find a happy balance of everything! I hope that everything works out for you with your job & baby!!!

    http://hopeace.weebly.com/

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