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A caveat, this post is not so micro…
Hopefully some of you caught my Rent reference in the post title, and I apologize if you spend the day humming “Seasons of Love” to yourself (as I will be). Baby Girl is a year old, and all of the cliches apply, “where did the time go”, I ask of you?! We had a birthday party for her the weekend before last, it wasn’t anything over the top, family and a few friends. I think the fact that she has a summer birthday is going to mean they aren’t particularly well attended because of all of the other events and activities keeping people busy. We held it at my in law’s house as they back onto a park, have a lovely yard, and then it meant I didn’t have to clean my house (our condo is far too small to host anyways).
I was a little stressed leading up to, and on the day of the party but overall it mostly went without a hitch. I bought most of the food from Costco, and it was mainly just cold finger foods as I didn’t want to be dealing with cooking and what not while our guests were there. I was set on making a cake for Baby Girl to smash and I made cupcakes for the guests to eat. That all turned out well, except the cake was in the fridge and the icing hardened up so she couldn’t actually dig into it. We cut a piece out and she dug into that. I was disappointed but it was less messy, and the cake I made was entirely too large anyways. It was a beautiful day, we had a mini bouncy castle and a little kiddie pool, which Baby Girl loved (she is such a water babe). She proceeded to climb in, in her party dress which was actually really adorable, sort of like a first birthday trash the dress, just like my wedding trash the dress! The one thing that was sort of disappointing was that I made a video of Baby Girl’s first year on iMovie. It was set to music, and took a lot of time. I was really proud of it, but because it was so nice out, pretty much no one saw it as it was playing on the TV inside. Oh well, it’s a nice keepsake, and out family watched it.
For her actual birthday, we took an extended weekend and went to Vancouver. Our last family holiday before I go back to work. It was a nice getaway, the weather was beautiful and we did lots of fun sightseeing and activities, and although Baby Girl won’t remember it, I think J and I will look back fondly on it, and we can show her pictures and tell her stories. I found out that the Disney store does a little something special if you go in on your birthday, and luckily there was one very close to our hotel. It was a busy four days, and tiring as we were one time zone behind home which made the normal wake up time of 6:00am – 6:30am an hour earlier. We walked all over, took the bus, train and even a little tugboat. We did not manage to stick with a nap schedule so many a stroller nap were had. J and I were getting testy with each other at times (seems to be happening more lately…) but overall the sweet memories will prevail. Random sidenote; I walked right past Wanda Sykes! We were crossing the street in the opposite direction, J didn’t even notice but I stared (probably rather obviously). I wish I would have said something!
The past year is pretty impossible to put into words. Parenting certainly is a paradox; I love this little person more than anything, but she has definitely made life more stressful. J and I get annoyed with each other more often. I wouldn’t say we fight but there a million and one things that he does that annoy me lately. Perhaps because we are each taking care of Baby Girl in our own way, and when that doesn’t jive we butt heads. Plus we’re tired, and constantly being pulled in several directions.
I head back to work next week, after the long weekend, and Baby Girl officially starts daycare on Thursday. We’ve been into the daycare to visit and get her acclimated a few times and it is a very highly rated, and highly sought after facility (that we were extremely lucky to get a spot at). It’s a lovely place, and I know she’ll be cared for, fed well, learn new skills and socialize with other babies and people. But, it makes me sad that she won’t get the individual attention she gets from me. In some ways that’s good, she can learn to wait her turn, and that the world does not revolve around her, but she won’t get as many books read to her, as many cuddles, and all of the love I can pour over her. I don’t have a choice, financially we need me to go back to work, plus I’m not cut out to stay at home with her full-time. If I could manage to work part-time, that would be ideal but not possible right now. I’m somewhat looking forward to returning to the workforce. I’ve been relocated to a different office, it comes with pros and cons, but I am happy to not be returning to my previous office.
I am nervous and stressed about how daily life is going to go once I am back working. J will be doing daycare drop off and pick up as it is right by his work. My shifts will range, and I’ll be off sometime between 5pm – 6:15pm, J finishes at 5pm so we have to manage to get home, make and eat dinner, have playtime/bath time/family time and get Baby Girl to bed for 7:30ish. It’s going to be busy. I will have to work a couple Saturdays a month, which means I get a day off during the week. Sometimes I may still send Baby Girl to daycare so I can run errands, clean house, ect. and it will be nice to have that time to myself, but some days I’ll keep her home and we can enjoy mommy/daughter days and maybe meet up with some of our pals. There has been so much change in the past year, and we’ve gotten into a groove but now it’s all going to change again. If I thought her first year went quickly, I’m betting the next one feels even faster.
Looking back on the day that she was born, the emotions are hard to describe; relief, joy, exhaustion, fear but most of all big fat love. That love has only grown in the past year. Though the wait was hard; the years, months and days were worth it. We got our baby, the little girl meant for us, and I wouldn’t change that for the world.
Here are a few shots from her birthday week celebration!