#Microblog Mondays: Mystery Angel

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Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

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Time is flying; tomorrow I’ll have an eleven month old. We are planning her first birthday, preparing for daycare, my return to work. Life is so different, and it’s about to change again as my maternity leave ends. Some days I look forward to returning to the workforce; having some variation in my days and adult conversation. Other days I just want to stop time; how can I leave my baby girl for most of her waking hours of the day? I don’t want to be a stay at home mom, I know that, it’s not for me, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be hard to send her to daycare for five days a week. This year off has been a good taste of it, and I am so thankful that living in Canada affords me this opportunity, but I would not leave my job to stay home. Not only would I not choose it, we can’t afford for me to stay home, so it was really a non-choice. Our summer is jam-packed with activities, meet ups with friends and family events so I know it is going to be gone in the blink of an eye.

In one of our mom and baby classes we spend the last few minutes with the lights dimmed, listening to peaceful, calming music and cuddling our babes (as much as they will allow). It is one of my favorite parts of our week, yet it is bittersweet because our undivided time together will soon end, and many of our activities together will cease. So it makes me a little weepy; for this season of our lives that is almost finished, for the new seasons to come, for all that we’ve had, and done and been through together. There has been so much that has happened in the past year, I can’t possibly describe it adequately and eloquently enough, but this beautiful song from our relaxation time together makes me feel all of the things that I can’t put into words.

*Sidenote: This song reminds me of Jess over at My Path to Mommyhood and the Mystery Baby that she is waiting for, so hopefully this sends some good vibes her way!

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10 thoughts on “#Microblog Mondays: Mystery Angel

  1. It is an odd feeling, waiting for that transition, feeling like you’ve just (maybe) figured out this part of parenthood and now it’s going to change. on the other hand being a parent is all about adapting to change: there are perfect moments when time seems to stand still but it never does. I hope things go well at daycare. I know I was intimidated by the thought of full time daycare. But, now that my daughter has been part time for a few weeks in the summer, I am thinking full time is actually easier. She was almost always happy to go when she was full time, probably because it was a routine and she had time to bond with people there. She’s crying a lot more now that it’s two days a week. So,”all in” can actually be better.

    • I know it will be fine, good for both of us but it’s definitely a bit sad. And you’re right, we totally have our groove and some days are magical and I don’t want to give that up. But we’ll get a new groove and I’ll have that other part of me back that is fulfilling in a different way.

  2. It’s sad that the anticipation of difficult times (ie going back to work) begin affecting our enjoyment of our present situations so long in advance. (This happens to me too, in different circumstances of course!) I’m very glad you’ve had the year together, and that it has been so special for you both. I hope that you both adjust easily, and that you’re still taking pleasure in seeing your daughter grow and adapt at daycare. Still, enjoy those cuddles.

  3. nonsequiturchica

    Going back to work after maternity leave is so hard but it’s ultimately a good thing. You will get more adult interaction, your baby will start to learn valuable socialization skills. The firsf week is the worst but it really does get better as you get to know your daycare and get your schedule done. You can do this!

  4. We all go through this. How can you not? Having multiples, I couldn’t wait to get back to work. I was so exhausted, As crazy and selfish as it sounds. I had gone from an office worker to a factory worker. My husband and I spent all day, every day feeding, changing etc etc. I just wanted to get my life back. You will seek out and find a new way to share those special moments. They’ll be different moments but just as special. Maybe, if you can believe it, more special because you’re time alone will be more limited and eventually the baby won’t be a baby and will really be able to appreciate the time together too.

    • There are some days going to work seems more appealing that dealing with a cranky baby but the grass is always greener I suppose and I know I can’t have it both ways. Life will change and we’ll have so many special moments in years to come. Thanks for your kind words 🙂

  5. The ending of every stage is hard, even though your rational mind knows that it gets better and better even if you miss the things you leave behind.

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