#Microblog Mondays: The Butterfly Effect

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Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too. 
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While in the shower yesterday the date hit me; it was Dec. 13. That fateful day one year ago when our baby girl began to grow inside of me. I was a ball of anxiety for the week that preceeded my BFP (and for a good lot of the time afterwards too, but that was the first big exhale). I look at this chubby little 3 1/2 month old, sleeping in the other room and my breath still catches.

The learning curve of parenthood has been steep and difficult but oh so worth it. And really, I can say the same about our infertility experience I suppose. It was a rough road, but had we not gone down that path we would not have this precious little girl. I kiss her fuzzy head and breathe her baby smell and know that I would do it the same all over again because that specific embryo created this specific baby; and she is our daughter, the one sent from the universe specifically for us. 

Life is interesting that way, like a butterfly flapping its wings halfway around the world, one minor deviation can ripple out in innumerable and immeasurable ways. So I wouldn’t change a thing. 

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7 thoughts on “#Microblog Mondays: The Butterfly Effect

  1. It’s a sobering and wonderful thought at the same time. I’m so glad you wrote this because my day for the twins is coming up and I may have forgotten otherwise.

  2. Jane Allen

    I think about this a lot, lookin back there are a lot of things I would have done differently. I would have insisted on doing a sonohyst to assess my possible septum, we should have stopped after 3 failued IUIs, I should have canceled my first retrieval after a dysfunctional stim cycles. I should have transfered my two remaining embies from my first cycle in the same FET, or I should have moved on to another fresh cycle and not bothered transfering a subpar embie. If my first transfer with a euploid grade 1 embryo didn’t fail… if there were any change in events… I wouldn’t have my Kate. Some people ask, ‘Can I imaging my life without her’. Well, yes, I lived my life for 39 years without her. I can’t imagine myself with any other baby. Sure if any prior treatment had been successful, we wsould love that baby, and that baby would be awesome. but not Kate-awesome.

    • Exactly! Do I wish I could have gotten pregnant without intervention, and 2.5 years sooner? Sure, but then I wouldn’t have *my* baby, this baby. So really, I can’t say I would change it.

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