#Microblog Mondays: I Am a Puddle

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Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too. 

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I’ve always been a pretty unemotional person. Not that I don’t feel them, but I don’t show them. Ok, and I didn’t always feel them as strongly as others may have. My heart of stone has served me well at protecting myself in some occasions. Infertility really got to me, but you would never know it because I kept it in (or spilled it all over my blog).

Since my daughter was born, it seems that the stony exterior that protected my heart has crumbled. Initially, I could have blamed it on the postpartum hormones, but I think I have to admit it’s more than that. I have a little person that belongs to me, and I to her. 

I think through the course of dealing with infertility I closed myself up more, because it was easier than dealing with my emotions. Well the floodgates have opened. Just the other day, there was a commercial on for a sick kids foundation and I could not handle it. I cried, a lot, at a commercial. Like, not just welling up, “oh that’s sad”. Like big fat tears rolled down my cheeks, I started sniffling and when my husband looked over at me I sobbed; “it’s just so sad!”. I couldn’t imagine our little daughter in a situation like the one depicted in the commercial. I feel all the feels now. And it turns me into a weepy puddle. My baby girl has thawed this ice queen. And now for your viewing pleasure, The Commercial

Don’t watch it if you don’t want to cry. You’ve been warned

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17 thoughts on “#Microblog Mondays: I Am a Puddle

  1. nonsequiturchica

    Ever since I have had my daughter EVERYTHING involving kids makes me cry/get upset. News stories on sick kids, parents that have abused their kids, etc. I think that because I know how vulnerable babies are and whatever happens to them is just so unfair. I often have to turn off the news because I just don’t want to hear about it because it hurts my heart too much.

    • Oh yeah, I hear ya. For me, it’s anything sad, or even really happy. It’s like I have years of emotions to catch up on ha ha. Watching Ellen is the worst, when she helps someone down on their luck, with a car or money. Waterworks!

  2. Commercials are the worst, but yes. Since having Charlie everything feels deeper. Even just that apple commercial with Audra Day and Stevie Wonder makes me cry, probably because I saw it for the first time right after San Bernadino happened.

  3. Samesies. All the feelings, all the time. Even worse if I happen to be holding Chick. I was once nursing when I saw a particularly sad photo of the Syrian refugee crisis, and LOST IT. Not just, “Sniffle for 5 minutes” lost it. I was chest-heaving, flat-out bawling.

  4. Deathstar’s post just made me cry, so I’m wary of watching a sad commercial now that I’ve calmed. What is the saying that becoming a mother means having your heart outside your body? Just paused to find it:

    “Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ”
    ― Elizabeth Stone

  5. Mali

    Like you, I never used to show my emotions. Pregnancy loss opened the floodgates for me. I cry at commercials, happy events, sad events, retelling happy or sad events – you name it, I’m a blubbering mess.

    Maybe now, finally, you feel that it is safe to express your emotions?

  6. And THAT’S why I always donate to Sick Kids! Toronto Sick Kids is amazing and we’ve been there with my nephew too many times. They are amazing.
    But yes you’re right babies melt us. I too had the wall before my baby. IF did that to me. Now I’m mush! Lol!

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