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Life has shifted so much in the past year. This time last year I was in Vegas for a friend’s wedding, and had just gotten my period unexpectedly while there. The timing was terrible as I needed to be home for monitoring so yet another FET didn’t get derailed. It got delayed anyways due to cysts, and I wasn’t in a great head space.
On the flip side of that, a week and a half ago I had my 6-week postpartum check up, which involved discussing birth control. I definitely wanted to get back on some form of contraception; as I said to my OB, I know it took IVF for me to get pregnant but I am not about to let myself “accidentally” get pregnant now. So last week I had the Mirena IUD put in, up to 5 years of automatic birth control. It’s the first time in three and a half years that I’ve prevented pregnancy and it’s a bit strange.
I may not have had much say in getting pregnant but I can certainly prevent it. It’s a bit of a false sense of control though; I may be able to choose not to get pregnant right now, but if and when the time comes that we want to try for another child I’ll be thrown back to the land of IF, where it’s all a game of percentages, and a bit of dumb luck. And then I’ll have to admit that I never really had control at all.