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While struggling to conceive and all throughout our fertility treatments those who became pregnant, made pregnancy announcements, had baby photos, mentioned anything to do with babies, starting a family, ect. received thoughts of jealousy and depending on the person, sheer annoyance. I know this is not unique to me. The interesting thing is now that I have a baby of my own, I still have these feelings.
While in the hospital just after having baby C, a friend of a friend posted a pregnancy announcement for her third child on Face.book. Something about adding more laundry to their family with a little onsie hanging on a clothesline. It was cute, but I immediately rolled my eyes and scrolled past; while in the hospital with a baby if my own, I still viewed it with disdain. Maybe because the cutesy Face.book announcement isn’t my style, or that I’m not personally friends with her, maybe that would change my feelings, but only to a point.
A couple of weeks after baby C was born, my mom told me my cousin was pregnant. I’m not surprised as she’s been married for a couple if years, and they are my age. In society’s eyes, the perfect time to start a family. I am happy for her, she is a family member I have always got on well with, and we grew up close being that we are only 3 months apart in age. But it still stings. And I think it always will. Despite the fact that I got my wish, it was certainly not without pain and struggle. And that doesn’t go away easily.