Ready or not…


As of today I am 37 weeks pregnant, and really baby could come at any time now. Some of my friends and family think she will come early because of my petite body type, while others say the first one (especially girls) tend to hang on longer. It is all speculation at this point as baby girl and my body are going to corroborate to do whatever they want. I’m getting really tired of hearing the “you’re huge/tiny!”, “you’ve popped”, “she’s dropped” daily commentary. This is my last week of work, Friday being my last day. Can I get a woot woot!?

We had a co-ed BaByQ this weekend, hosted at my in-laws place. Unfortunately a lot of our friends (that are our age) couldn’t make it, so it was mostly family and friends of the family (read: my MIL’s friends, which is fine). The whole reason we had a co-ed shower is so that J would feel involved (he was a bit jealous of my first shower) and so that we could invite more of our friends, guys and gals. We still did have some of our close friends there, just not as many as we had hoped. Oh well, it is summer and people are busy or out of town.

I would say we are pretty much ready for baby (as ready as one can be). The hospital bag(s) are packed (mine, J’s and baby’s diaper bag). I feel like we have way too much crap, being that we each have a bag, plus I have an exercise ball to labor on, my nursing pillow and a pillow from our bed (the last three items suggested by our prenatal instructor). We’ll put it all in the car, and see what of it we actually want/need and J can go fetch things. I’ll have to message my cousin, the labor and delivery nurse, to get her words of advice for what we might actually need. I’ve debated making a playlist of music but it might just annoy me.

Baby’s room is pretty well ready. We finally got the correct glider chair from, third time was the charm thankfully. We waited until our shower this weekend to order the rest of the bedding, in case someone bought it for us. We also had hoped J’s cousins might go together and buy us the 4moms Mamaroo chair, as it is a big ticket item, but no luck so we bought one off of Kijiji yesterday. Everything is set up, most all of the clothes we got are washed and put away (besides the stuff we got this weekend). We have so many clothes, and a million and one blankets!

At my OB appt last week I had the Strep B test, which I had previously heard about, and my doctor did also warn me the week prior. She also checked my cervix and found that I am 1cm dilated and she said she could “tickle my baby’s head”. Whoa! She said just because I am 1cm dilated, doesn’t mean anything is going to happen right away but at least my body is going in the right direction. She also informed me that she will be on holidays until Aug. 24, so not to have my baby until then…I was disappointed to hear she was going to be off, but doctors need vacation too, plus in reality she is only there if I deliver during the week in the daytime, unless it is her rotation outside of those hours. Plus, the doctor doesn’t show up right until the end anyways, right?! My only concern is if something starts to go wonky, I would really rather deal with my own doctor. She’ll be back a good week prior to my due date so hopefully we can hold off that long!

I never seem to have too many questions for my doctor, and I feel like I should be asking for more information but I am feeling sort of ambivalent and almost nonchalant about the whole affair. Not that I don’t care when she comes, or how she comes but I guess it all seems very surreal that I am going to give birth to my daughter very soon and I am just trying to wrap my brain around that. I am also trying not to worry about how she gets out as long as her and I are ok in the end. I am scared about how I am going to handle labour, and how I am going to get through it, but I do plan on getting an epidural. I just have to make it to 5cm dilated first, because my hospital will not administer an epidural before then. They don’t want to start an epidural and then have the labor stall, so they make you wait.

Actually getting the epidural freaks me out because I’ve seen the needle, and tubing that they put in your back. Ick. I have spent very little time in hospitals (beside the fact that my fertility clinic is in a hospital, the same one I will be delivering at). Besides being in a clinical setting for my egg retrieval, cysts draining and embryo transfer (plus all of the other monitoring appts, ect.), I have never had to be admitted to a hospital in my adult life. Even as a child it was exceedingly rare. I don’t like hospitals and I really hate IVs, both of which I know I’ll have to deal with during labor and delivery. The lack of control of the whole situation freaks me out, but my body will do what it’s supposed to do (hopefully) and the nurses will be there to take care of me. I’m happy my cousin works there because she will tell her coworkers when I’m coming (even if she’s not working) and hopefully they will be extra sweet to me!

Everyone keeps asking if we’re ready, or if we’re getting excited. I am excited to meet her. Like unbelievably so. But…I have to get her out first. Plus I am terrified of taking care of this little person once she is on the outside and I think that is overshadowing my excitement of her actually being here. I don’t know how I am going to feel once she’s here. I fear the recovery, being overwhelmed by it all (my recovery, caring for my baby, learning to breastfeed, ect). Are we ready? For the most part yes, we have all of the “stuff” but, are WE ready? Well no, not really. I think it is almost impossible to be ready for this huge shift so we’re just going to have to take it as it comes.

People also keep asking if I’m “done” with being pregnant, if I just want her out already. Well, yes and no. I am pretty large, but it is really all in my belly, I just look like I have a basketball under my shirt. I’ve had some swelling in my hands and my feet but you can’t tell by looking at me, I can just feel it with my rings and after I’ve been on my feet for too long. Some of the swelling is in the joints of my fingers so in the morning when I first get up it feels like I have arthritis. I take ranitidine twice daily for heartburn now. It was never terrible but I mentioned it to my doctor, and she offered the Rx as opposed to me just using tums when it flares up. It has definitely kept the pain at bay. I have hemorrhoids (sorry, gross, I know) but they are not super painful most of the time, and I have not been constipated so nothing has aggravated the situation much. My pelvis is a bit achy and I get a pinchy feeling in my cervix every once and a while. But overall, it’s still not terrible, and I consider myself to be very lucky.

Ideally, I would like to finish out this week at work, and then have at least a full week off to finish cleaning the house, and getting some last minute stuff done. Also so I can rest and relax. Too bad you can’t bank sleep… I really would prefer a September baby, I’m not sure why I just like a September birthday better than August. Plus my nieces’ birthdays are in Aug. (still keeping my legs closed on Aug. 30) and J’s birthday is in September. So if I get my wish, I still have 3 weeks to go.

I’ve gotten used to being pregnant, and I know how to take care of my baby when she’s inside of me. Selfishly, it’s nice having her to myself, though I wish I could share her more with J. He’s played a few games of poke/kick with her where he pokes her and she kicks him. It’s so cute, and now that she is full term size he can really feel her. She’ll get a knee or foot or something sticking right out the side of me and it feels like a person, not just an amorphous blob pushing from the inside.

Time will tell, my body and my baby will do what they want, not heeding my preferences, whether my doctor is here or not. I have an appointment with my doctors’ locum on Friday, and I’ll have to see her one more time before my doctor is back (unless baby comes). I think they do a cervical check every appt now, which is not the most comfortable experience but my doctor was at least very quick about it and I do like knowing if there’s any progress.

It’s officially baby watch time!


14 thoughts on “Ready or not…

  1. Lots of things:

    1. When you say a ton of blankets I hope you mean it-We go through a bunch each day!

    2. My doc was able to deliver me because my daughter came at 8:31 am. I was thrilled, but I only saw him for about ten minutes and then we were done!

    3. The epidural isn’t a big thing, especially if your contractions are rough. I can’t even remember it hurting honestly, it was such a relief.

    4. Yay you’re almost there!

    • Thanks for the tips! Can I ask a stupid question; why the need for all of the blankets? We have a lot of receiving blankets, but also lots of plushy, soft ones that don’t seem appropriate for day to day use.

      • Ours end up getting used for spit up more than anything! And we keep one on her at all times because we keep the AC high in our house (it’s SO hot here), so we go through probably two a day at the very least 🙂

      • Emily

        With the caveat that I know it’s against recommendations and everybody has to do what their baby needs and all that, our daughter would only sleep if she was hot. I know, I know, it’s not good, but seriously, she would. not. sleep. So we did actually end up using the thicker blankets. We didn’t end up using the receiving blankets much at all, because it turned out we were both really bad at swaddling, so we bought SwaddleMe blankets and stuff. We did use them the second time around more, because DD never spit up but DS did more than once per feeding. (It was part spit-up and part just not keeping the milk in his mouth.)

  2. We got tons and tons of clothes, blankets and towels from the baby shower and other gifts!! The receiving blankets we used a lot because they were nice to use as a sheet to lay her on as we moved her around the house during the day in the first few months. The other blankets and oodles of towels are still sitting pretty. And the clothes….oh my word…there are clothes she never wore because there were so many. And we live in a place that has all 4 seasons and a lot of them were seasonally inappropriate…for example, she was a winter baby so all you got at that time were winter clothes but people bought winter clothes for the 6-9 month phase as well when in reality we’d be in summer. Quite a lot went waste like that. And don’t worry about all your unprepared feelings about labor and baby-care once she’s here, it’s normal to feel this way but, when the time comes, you’ll roll with the punches and figure it out as you go. There will be a lot of scary, challenging and frustrating moments, for sure but, you’ll make it through. I was extremely scared of labor and delivery too but when it was happening, all I could do was focus on how it was going….the epidural is not scary at all because all you feel is the first numbing injection and nothing after that. And once she was here, a lot of Google, her pediatrician’s nurses advice line and family helped me through it all. You’ve totally got this! All the best! I hope everything goes smoothly for you!

  3. I can’t believe you are almost there and I’m not far behind you! I love the concept of a co-ed baby shower, but my husband didn’t agree. Ranitidine has been a life saver for me. If you have any flare ups, I recommend liquid Gaviscon + Ranitidine. It’s my daily go-to. Overall, I hope you stay comfortable until baby girl arrives.

  4. Yay! Time has gone so quickly. It feels like I just found your blog and cannot believe you are this far along in your pregnancy. Sending happy thoughts your way!

  5. I remember having the same exact fear. Not even labor topped how I felt about not being able to care for my son. I constantly feared I would drop him, hurt him in some way. Then once they pulled him out and I heard his first cry that feeling vanished. All I wanted was to hold him in my arms. Hope u have the same experience and that mother instinct kicks in. The epidural wasn’t bad. All I felt was a twitch on my leg that they told me I would. Too bad they don’t let u take it until 5 cm. They let me have it right away & the anesthesiologist said it doesn’t stall labor like everyone says it does. Best of luck!

  6. Oh, big woot woot for you! Such exciting times. Gliders… I had no idea there were so many choices for gliders. Or that they could be so monstrous. I’m glad you have things mostly ready, and that you are at the point where thinking about that hospital stay isn’t just a far-off “what if” but fairly imminent! I love the idea of the nurse tickling your baby’s head, even if when I think about that explicitly it’s a little scary. 🙂 I also loved this, “Selfishly, it’s nice having her to myself.” I can imagine the adjustment from Inside Baby to Outside Baby is an interesting one. Pregnancy is such a personal experience. It will be nice to share the baby with J externally, for sure! Good luck as you march towards labor and delivery! I hope that the IVs go smoothly, and you have a safe and healthy birth.

  7. yay, so close! you sound very prepared. You will do just fine! I had an epidural (not planned) and it went well. My only suggestion would be to make sure you practice some labouring techniques anyway, because the epi doesn’t necessarily block all the pain, unless it is at full strength and then you are immobile from the waist down, which I personally didn’t like and wouldn’t recommend if it can be at all avoided. Also, people vary in how they respond to the epidural. But it certainly made a long labour more endurable (which I hope your labour is not.) Best of luck!

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