#Microblog Mondays: Our Little Beauty

Standard

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

                      *******

It’s a perfect day for a micro blog because I have so much to say, but between jaundice issues, breast feeding issues and just generally taking care of an infant, I’ll keep it short and sweet and leave you with our little darling who joined our family (on the outside) Aug. 26 at 6:15pm, weighing in at 7lbs 9oz. We are smitten. And tired. And learning on the fly. But so in love.

 Photo removed for anonymity

#Microblog Mondays: Jinxes

Standard

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

*******

I’ve mentioned in previous posts that I can be superstitious about silly things (especially for a reasonable, analytical person like me) and that was definitely true all throughout our IF treatments, and carried into pregnancy. One of my superstitions is to do with Murphy’s Law, in that if you make plans, anything that can go wrong, will. Lately, my mind keeps thinking “what if our baby is in fact…not a girl”. We are ready, in that we have all of the stuff we think we’ll need. But it’s all girl stuff. Granted we did a blood test to detect fetal DNA for determining gender, plus our sonographer was pretty confident at our anatomy scan that she is in fact a girl. I’m pretty sure it’s silly to worry about, doesn’t happen often (please don’t share the horror stories with me!) but my mind just goes there. It wouldn’t be the end of the world but it would be a huge pain in the ass!

Another thing I am very protective, and superstitious of is her name. It has been a secret, mainly to avoid unwanted comments but also sort of to keep her for ourselves. The other day I was in a shop and the cashier asked when I was due, if I knew the gender, if we had a name picked out, ect. I answered all of her questions and she asked me what the name was. Previously when asked this by a random person I’ve either lied and said we don’t know, or told them it’s a secret. But for some reason, I told this woman. Perhaps because we’re so close to the end, and there was no one else around. But as soon as I did it I felt awful. J was waiting for me outside the shop, with our dogs, and I didn’t tell him what happened. I felt like I had betrayed him.

The only person who has the power of the jinx is me, I just need to let it go.

#Microblog Mondays: Dry Run

Standard

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.
                        *******

This past Thursday I hadn’t felt much movement from baby girl. When at work it was sometimes hard to pay attention to her movement but it was unusually minimal that day. I waited until we got home so I could lay down and focus more. My doctor always asks about movement and is very adamant that I pay attention to kicks and keep a kick count if necessary. Anything less than 6 kicks in 2 hours warrants a trip to labor and delivery.

After driving home (when I usually get kicked a lot), I had some sugary juice, and a bit of dinner. After near two hours I had only felt around 4 very mild movements. Off to the hospital we went. I was admitted to the assessment wing, gowned and set up in a cubicle (they’re not proper rooms, just curtains separating beds). The nurse came in to check on me, I explained the situation and she hooked me up to two different belly monitors. 

We sat there listening to baby’s heartbeat and counting movement for the next half hour or so. Of course once I was all strapped in baby girl decided to wiggle around more. Still not as much as usual but way more than she had been all day. Murphy’s law, they hook me up and baby makes me look like a paranoid preggo just looking for some extra monitoring. No one made me feel that way though, the doctor said I did the right thing, they kept me on the monitors for a little while longer and then released me. I had an OB appt the next morning and she said it was the right call and if it happens again, to go back. 

She’s been back to her wiggly self lately, which is comforting. But at least we got to do a dry run of the intake process!

Ready or not…

Standard

As of today I am 37 weeks pregnant, and really baby could come at any time now. Some of my friends and family think she will come early because of my petite body type, while others say the first one (especially girls) tend to hang on longer. It is all speculation at this point as baby girl and my body are going to corroborate to do whatever they want. I’m getting really tired of hearing the “you’re huge/tiny!”, “you’ve popped”, “she’s dropped” daily commentary. This is my last week of work, Friday being my last day. Can I get a woot woot!?

We had a co-ed BaByQ this weekend, hosted at my in-laws place. Unfortunately a lot of our friends (that are our age) couldn’t make it, so it was mostly family and friends of the family (read: my MIL’s friends, which is fine). The whole reason we had a co-ed shower is so that J would feel involved (he was a bit jealous of my first shower) and so that we could invite more of our friends, guys and gals. We still did have some of our close friends there, just not as many as we had hoped. Oh well, it is summer and people are busy or out of town.

I would say we are pretty much ready for baby (as ready as one can be). The hospital bag(s) are packed (mine, J’s and baby’s diaper bag). I feel like we have way too much crap, being that we each have a bag, plus I have an exercise ball to labor on, my nursing pillow and a pillow from our bed (the last three items suggested by our prenatal instructor). We’ll put it all in the car, and see what of it we actually want/need and J can go fetch things. I’ll have to message my cousin, the labor and delivery nurse, to get her words of advice for what we might actually need. I’ve debated making a playlist of music but it might just annoy me.

Baby’s room is pretty well ready. We finally got the correct glider chair from Cost.co, third time was the charm thankfully. We waited until our shower this weekend to order the rest of the bedding, in case someone bought it for us. We also had hoped J’s cousins might go together and buy us the 4moms Mamaroo chair, as it is a big ticket item, but no luck so we bought one off of Kijiji yesterday. Everything is set up, most all of the clothes we got are washed and put away (besides the stuff we got this weekend). We have so many clothes, and a million and one blankets!

At my OB appt last week I had the Strep B test, which I had previously heard about, and my doctor did also warn me the week prior. She also checked my cervix and found that I am 1cm dilated and she said she could “tickle my baby’s head”. Whoa! She said just because I am 1cm dilated, doesn’t mean anything is going to happen right away but at least my body is going in the right direction. She also informed me that she will be on holidays until Aug. 24, so not to have my baby until then…I was disappointed to hear she was going to be off, but doctors need vacation too, plus in reality she is only there if I deliver during the week in the daytime, unless it is her rotation outside of those hours. Plus, the doctor doesn’t show up right until the end anyways, right?! My only concern is if something starts to go wonky, I would really rather deal with my own doctor. She’ll be back a good week prior to my due date so hopefully we can hold off that long!

I never seem to have too many questions for my doctor, and I feel like I should be asking for more information but I am feeling sort of ambivalent and almost nonchalant about the whole affair. Not that I don’t care when she comes, or how she comes but I guess it all seems very surreal that I am going to give birth to my daughter very soon and I am just trying to wrap my brain around that. I am also trying not to worry about how she gets out as long as her and I are ok in the end. I am scared about how I am going to handle labour, and how I am going to get through it, but I do plan on getting an epidural. I just have to make it to 5cm dilated first, because my hospital will not administer an epidural before then. They don’t want to start an epidural and then have the labor stall, so they make you wait.

Actually getting the epidural freaks me out because I’ve seen the needle, and tubing that they put in your back. Ick. I have spent very little time in hospitals (beside the fact that my fertility clinic is in a hospital, the same one I will be delivering at). Besides being in a clinical setting for my egg retrieval, cysts draining and embryo transfer (plus all of the other monitoring appts, ect.), I have never had to be admitted to a hospital in my adult life. Even as a child it was exceedingly rare. I don’t like hospitals and I really hate IVs, both of which I know I’ll have to deal with during labor and delivery. The lack of control of the whole situation freaks me out, but my body will do what it’s supposed to do (hopefully) and the nurses will be there to take care of me. I’m happy my cousin works there because she will tell her coworkers when I’m coming (even if she’s not working) and hopefully they will be extra sweet to me!

Everyone keeps asking if we’re ready, or if we’re getting excited. I am excited to meet her. Like unbelievably so. But…I have to get her out first. Plus I am terrified of taking care of this little person once she is on the outside and I think that is overshadowing my excitement of her actually being here. I don’t know how I am going to feel once she’s here. I fear the recovery, being overwhelmed by it all (my recovery, caring for my baby, learning to breastfeed, ect). Are we ready? For the most part yes, we have all of the “stuff” but, are WE ready? Well no, not really. I think it is almost impossible to be ready for this huge shift so we’re just going to have to take it as it comes.

People also keep asking if I’m “done” with being pregnant, if I just want her out already. Well, yes and no. I am pretty large, but it is really all in my belly, I just look like I have a basketball under my shirt. I’ve had some swelling in my hands and my feet but you can’t tell by looking at me, I can just feel it with my rings and after I’ve been on my feet for too long. Some of the swelling is in the joints of my fingers so in the morning when I first get up it feels like I have arthritis. I take ranitidine twice daily for heartburn now. It was never terrible but I mentioned it to my doctor, and she offered the Rx as opposed to me just using tums when it flares up. It has definitely kept the pain at bay. I have hemorrhoids (sorry, gross, I know) but they are not super painful most of the time, and I have not been constipated so nothing has aggravated the situation much. My pelvis is a bit achy and I get a pinchy feeling in my cervix every once and a while. But overall, it’s still not terrible, and I consider myself to be very lucky.

Ideally, I would like to finish out this week at work, and then have at least a full week off to finish cleaning the house, and getting some last minute stuff done. Also so I can rest and relax. Too bad you can’t bank sleep… I really would prefer a September baby, I’m not sure why I just like a September birthday better than August. Plus my nieces’ birthdays are in Aug. (still keeping my legs closed on Aug. 30) and J’s birthday is in September. So if I get my wish, I still have 3 weeks to go.

I’ve gotten used to being pregnant, and I know how to take care of my baby when she’s inside of me. Selfishly, it’s nice having her to myself, though I wish I could share her more with J. He’s played a few games of poke/kick with her where he pokes her and she kicks him. It’s so cute, and now that she is full term size he can really feel her. She’ll get a knee or foot or something sticking right out the side of me and it feels like a person, not just an amorphous blob pushing from the inside.

Time will tell, my body and my baby will do what they want, not heeding my preferences, whether my doctor is here or not. I have an appointment with my doctors’ locum on Friday, and I’ll have to see her one more time before my doctor is back (unless baby comes). I think they do a cervical check every appt now, which is not the most comfortable experience but my doctor was at least very quick about it and I do like knowing if there’s any progress.

It’s officially baby watch time!

#Microblog Mondays: Don’t Poke the Bear

Standard

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

*******

not-sure-if-im-irritable-or-if-everyone-is-annoying

Though I haven’t noticed many huge mood swings throughout my pregnancy (no happy to sad in 30 seconds kind of thing), it has definitely affected my tolerance for annoyances. I find I get irritable extremely easily, and have a hard time controlling my reaction to said annoyances. It’s mainly at work, people just really push my buttons (co-workers more so than clients). I am by far the youngest person in my department so I’ve sort of become the in house tech support by virtue of knowing computer basics. It drives me bat shit crazy, helping others with technology is one of the frustrating experiences ever!

Other things that drive me mental;

  • The lady who insists on watching idiotic videos from Facebook, at full volume, in the lunch room, while others are trying to enjoy a peaceful break.
  • People who don’t attempt to figure something out, or find the answer on their own before asking for help.
  • Driving. Pregnancy hormones = road rage
  • People wasting my time/taking way too long to do something that I could get done in half the time
  • Line ups
  • The guy sitting in the waiting area of my OB’s office typing on his phone with the keyboard clicks on full volume (you know the “tick-tick” noise an iPhone makes when you are typing). Turn that shit off mofo!

Just to name a few. I used to consider myself a person with patience, and willing to help (besides with the tech-y stuff, that has always driven me crazy but it’s at a whole other level now), so I know it’s just the pregnancy hormones. It makes me feel a bit bad, but most the time I am too annoyed to care. Luckily my hubby hasn’t receive much of my wrath, and he’s done a pretty good job of taking care of me and not ticking me off!

I’m hoping my patience returns in abundance once this child is on the outside, because I’m going to need it!