#Microblog Mondays: The Feedback Loop

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Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

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Lately I’ve been more irritable and impatient than ever. Now let me be honest and admit that even before I became pregnant I was not the most tolerant or patient person anyways. But I can tell it’s gotten worse, and it tends to create a negative feedback loop between J and I.

* I get annoyed at something he says or does (or doesn’t say or do)

* I get all irritable and grumpy/snarky

* He then gets all irritable and grumpy/snarky because I am

The infinite feedback loop at work. I can see it happening, but it’s hard to control from the inside and I get annoyed because I feel like he has no right to be annoyed. I’m the pregnant one! (Though I realise putting up with me is surely tiresome).

It’s little things that set me off more than big; I couldn’t find a USB stick the day before our ultrasound appointment (we needed it to get the pictures), my coworkers’ vapid conversations, when I am hungry and don’t know what to eat (this is a bad one, as my hunger only increases my annoyance).

I get that I have a lot of hormones coursing through my body, but I don’t like feeling out of control of my body/emotions (common IF theme here…). Hopefully I can keep everything in check until babe gets here, but I have a feeling then it’s going to be a whole other ball of wax!

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8 thoughts on “#Microblog Mondays: The Feedback Loop

  1. I get like this too, from time to time. In fact, I’m going through a stage right now. Hormones definitely don’t help. My husband tells me I have anger management problems. He might be right. Recognising it and wanting to change is the first step – I got there in the middle of the night last night! Taking a deep breath instead of snapping is my next step.

    • It is very challenging. I had a bit of a temper even before pregnancy and my patience has never been great. I have a hard time letting things go, so I hold the anger for too long and really it’s just affecting me.

  2. It’s so hard because it’s not as if the average person has complete control over their emotions. You’re going to feel what you’re going to feel. Though having a mantra to repeat to yourself (to calm yourself down AND to acknowledge what you’re feeling to yourself) can go a long way.

    • This is very true, even as an average non pregnant person I didn’t have the best control over my emotions (inwardly at least, on the outside I look like a stone wall!). The talking myself down is the hard part.

  3. I want to thank you for opening up to share your stories and struggles. Your journey will be helping others, who are going through a similar situations, that they are not alone. I recently read a book called Plus or Minus. The book is centred around the lives of three couples and their experiences with infertility. I offered some of my thoughts on infertility after having read the book.

  4. torthúil

    I’m sorry you’ve been having a tough time emotionally! I think recognizing when the “feedback loop” starts is important because then you know what is happening and you can make a conscious decision about how you will respond to each other instead of just reacting. (Of course sometimes it’s hard to maintain distance from emotions….so maybe in those moments, just acknowledge to J and yourself that you don’t feel in control and you just need compassion and support.) Relationship work is parenting preparation work so it’s all worth the effort! You and J are in this together.

    • I can usually recognize when it’s happening, and it goes downhill from there. I know it’s something I’ll have to work on because I know little people need lots of patience!

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