Scooped…Again.

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Sort of.

I’ve been wondering how to announce my pregnancy at work. I’ve felt as though my growing waistline was going to require some answers soon (though maybe it’s just me who notices, because everyone else still thinks I’m tiny). I work in a small enough department that an email was not really appropriate (too impersonal) but going to every person individually felt unnecessary, and attention seeking. Besides, how does one even start that conversation?

“Hey, how’s it going? Oh that’s good, well I’m pregnant so there’s that.”

It’s all just so awkward. I’ve been hemming and hawing about it for a while now but couldn’t come up with anything that felt right. I sort of had intentions to say something this week, but when I just couldn’t think of anyway to say it, I thought maybe I’d just keep trying to hide my (albeit little) bump for a little while longer.

When I came in to work today one of my coworkers came up to me and told me that she had a dream about me, and that in it I was pregnant. I’m not sure what my face looked like at that moment. I sort of chuckled and said something along the lines of “Ohhh, hmmm.” Very inconspicuous. I nearly just blurted it out right then and there, but I held my tongue. It caught me so off guard, I was left speechless.

But after she said it, I couldn’t stop thinking about how it would have been the perfect opportunity to say something, it was my in. I went into my bosses office a short time later and told her what had transpired (my boss already knows) and that I was going to use that to tell everyone today. She was excited because she didn’t want to keep my secret anymore.

So once most of my coworkers had arrive for the day, I went over to the one who told me about her dream, and I said to her that the dream she had wasn’t wrong. She just stared at me with wide eyes, and one of our other coworkers who knew what I was talking about came over and gave me a hug. Then, I had to fill in the couple of others that were there what the dream was. Everyone got teary eyed, and they were all very excited for me. I knew that would be the case, but I’ve been hesitant about sharing, to protect my privacy and in case something bad happens.

It’s sort of nice to have it out there because I might get a pass on a crabby attitude (which has been happening more lately), or not feeling great, or whatever. At the same time, now there are a lot of people who know, and it makes me terrified that something bad is going to happen, and I’m going to have to go back and tell all of those people. It’s mostly irrational, but one of the reasons why I wanted to wait and not tell anyone until I had to. But they are all excited, and want to throw me a shower, and fawn over me, which is sort of nice. I’m the youngest in my department by a long shot, and the first to have a baby in about 11 years, so they’re all like excited little mother hens.

I knew word would travel quickly to our other departments, and soon I had one of the ladies come over to have me confirm it. So I’m sure everyone else will know soon enough, which is exactly what I wanted. Tell a few gossipy ones, and the rest will hear about it. So that’s taken care of.

After the shock and excitement of my announcement wore down,  one of my counterparts suddenly realized I was going to be going on mat. leave and that “oh shit” look hit her face. I have to say it was pretty awesome. Being the youngest, I am by far the most tech savvy in the office, and everything we do is technology based, and changes a lot. So I am practically the in-house tech support. Not to mention I am a bit of a jack of all trades in our department, so I am able to help in several different areas and they are going to be slightly screwed when I’m gone. And it makes me a bit gleeful. Perhaps then they’ll appreciate my all around-ness. I know that sounds conceited, but there are certain times I don’t know how they manage without me. I mean obviously they do, I am not indispensable, but I am pretty useful. The look of despair on my bosses face at the thought of trying to find someone to cover my leave made me feel good.

I have some girlfriends to tell this weekend over brunch, and then I’m really in it with the world knowing. We’re not going Facebook official, I feel it unnecessary; the people who we want to know, will know and the rest don’t matter. Plus I know what it’s like being on the other side of one of those Facebook announcements and I’m not about to do that to anyone else. I’m no longer protected in my bubble of secrecy, and the attention shining in my direction is making me somewhat uncomfortable.

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18 thoughts on “Scooped…Again.

  1. It sounds like your announcement was well received at work! that’s great. I’m sure it takes some of the pressure off…though there are always those “what if” worries. (But they will be there no matter what you do….just live life anyway). I can identify with the anxiety around revealing as I struggled with that throughout pregnancy too. The only group announcement I made was to my students (at the last possible moment) and I was so stressed about that (it was fine). We also didn’t discuss it on the Facebook for much the same reasons you mention: not necessary, potentially hurtful. And although part of me kind of wanted the attention I also knew I would not handle it well.

    • It probably worked out for the best that it ended up being sort of spur of the moment because I get so worked up about those kinds of things. When I was still going through treatment I had decided I probably wouldn’t post on Facebook, but was still kind of sad to lose out on that because you know how everyone freaks out about babies. But now that I’m actually pregnant I have no desire to share on Facebook. I’m sure I’ll worry right until the end, and people were going to find out eventually!

  2. I know you feel nervous about everyone knowing, but that doesn’t mean it will change anything. And if something does happen (which it probably won’t so just enjoy) then it only means you’ll have that much more support.

  3. pcosandpizza

    I’ve been struggling with how to tell work and I think you handled the revelation perfectly. Since I have twins here I will be forced to reveal earlier than I want to. I completely understand the fear of having to untell everybody. But luckily the chances of that are quite slim at this point. But many congrats – it’s a big step to take!!

    • Yeah I was really lucky to have such a perfect opportunity present itself. I guess with twins you’ll have to out yourself sooner, or you could just pretend your getting fat ha ha.

  4. I brought in a platter of pink and blue cupcakes and everyone figured it out. I did announce it, but at that point it was sort of expected. The only facebook “announcement” we made was to put up our Christmas card, which I was noticeable pregnant in. I haven’t mentioned it again on there and don’t plan to. It sounds like you’re handling everything really well – and I’m sure they will miss you at work!

  5. How far along are you now? We’ve just told close friends and family. I sway back and forth on Facebook, but I think we may wait to post anything until we find out our gender at 20 weeks (yessss after everything we just decided to wait it out). I do plan on telling my work on my next business trip to head office in a few weeks. I’ll be around 11 weeks then. I’m really not feeling well the past two weeks, so I’m finding it hard to keep it a secret from work. I’m sure you feel much better now that the secret is out! Makes it seem more real eh?

    • 15w today! Just had an appt at the OB, everything sounded good. We have our next appt and anatomy scan on Apr. 9, I can’t believe I’ll be almost halfway there by then! We told our family at 12 weeks, and I’ll be telling most of my friends this weekend. We’ve kept it very close to our chest, I’m a very private person, so I am not the type that would want other people knowing if something happened but at this point, it is sort of inevitable that I tell. I did have to tell my boss at 9 weeks (because of a business trip) which I really didn’t want to. but at least it was just her. I was sort of happy just keeping it to myself, but it’s a bit of a relief getting the secret out. I battled morning sickness from about week 7 – 12/13, I still have it some days but not nearly as bad as it was but I wasn’t so sick that I couldn’t work. It makes me feel a bit awkward with all of the attention, and makes things more scary/real ha ha.

  6. It is a relief, isn’t it? Because as many times as I’ve heard great stories, I’ve also heard about managers and workplaces that aren’t entirely over the moon about it. We spend all day with these people, so it’s nice to get a little joy and validation.

    I’ve opted out of an FB announcement for tons of reasons. Part of it is that lingering sting of being on the receiving end of so many. Part is also because I don’t want to start my kid’s life off with such a high degree of exposure. Let ’em be for a while, you know? At the end of the day, this is a personal choice, and I honestly don’t think there is a right/wrong way to do it.

    • I knew everyone would be happy, it’ll be the little office baby because almost none of my coworkers have grandkids, but they’re kids are of the age that they oculd be poppin’ out babies too. It’s a relief and a bit uncomfortable at the same time. The spotlight of attention makes me itchy…ha ha

  7. Oh yes it is completely awkward to tell both your boss and your coworkers. For me, none of them knew that we were trying or going through IVF so it was kind of like “surprise!” One of my coworkers recently announced and I was joking with her about how awkward it was to tell everyone. It’s not just you!

    • Yeah, I think I surprised a few people too. I’ve been married for nearly 5 years so it’s not totally out of the blue, but I didn’t ever discuss the fact that we started trying, or went through IVF. I did have someone ask me if it was planned, and I just scoffed and said, very much yes. My boss thought I was going to quit when I asked to speak to her!

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