#Microblog Mondays: What’s in a Name? Pt. III

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Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

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I think everyone does it, as a little girl, and then together with your partner; dreaming about the names you will give your children. I know J and I have discussed it for a long time, I have a list going in my phone, and we completely settled on a girls name several years ago (and it has stuck all this time, so I am confident it is the right one). Because we are finding out the gender early, we will be able to use the name throughout pregnancy so it will just feel right (hopefully) once attached to our newborn.

I know many people, once they know the gender of their children, in-utero, will announce the name along with the gender. We have no intentions of doing this, as I find people have an easier time judging a name attached to a (at this point) theoretical infant, before it is set in stone. The names we have chosen are definitely unique (nothing super weird, in my opinion) but would definitely garner some judgement, especially from the older, and more traditional family members (ahem, my mother for example). So we will have to use it only between J and I, careful not to let it slip.

Do you have names already pick for your children (or did you before you had them)? Would you (or did you) share them with anyone, or keep them close to your chest until there was a baby to attach it to?

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28 thoughts on “#Microblog Mondays: What’s in a Name? Pt. III

  1. Since I was very young I wanted to name a little girl Ella, because I read Ella Enchanted in elementary school and loved the character. By the time we got pregnant Ella had made the most popular names list for several years running, so we went with Charlotte Rosalie and are calling her Charlie. And we did announce it with the gender.

    • Yeah I’m all about avoiding super popular names too. London was tops in our list for a while but I’ve heard several children and young adults with the name now so it got bumped. Have you had any judgy mcjudgy pants make any rude comments about the name?

      • No-not really. We told Chiefs parents what our choices for both sexes were before we knew what we were having, and they seemed a little judgey, but didn’t really say anything. The only other thing I’ve gotten is that I have a cousin who has a son named Charlie, and he asked if we were going to spell it differently to avoid confusion at Christmas. That’s about it.

    • Good name choices! My youngest and most adorable niece is Charlotte called Charlie. She is most definitely a Charlie not a Charlotte! Love the name. Oddly, she was almost called Ella (this was our grandmother’s name) too.

  2. My husband and I have had a boy name picked out for years. When we were chosen by expectant parents we told them the name that we had picked and they did not like it. Technically, they don’t have any say over what we name him, but we didn’t feel right about naming him something that they really really didn’t like. So we ended up changing it, and maybe will use the original name if we have another boy someday.

  3. With our first pregnancy, we had 4 names picked out (twins). We were hoping to find out sexes and then we were going to use names to help remind us, and those around us, that there were two individuals growing. We didn’t get to find out their sexes until after they were born/died. We had Bella picked out before we conceived, and Oscar was decided upon prior to the end of the first trimester. With our second pregnancy, we had both a girl and boy named picked out prior to conception. At our 7w u/s we found out it was twins. At 9w, we already had another full boy name and girl middle name selected, when we found out that Tittle had died. We continued to call Gus “Dot” throughout the entire pregnancy and didn’t share his name until he was born. With our fourth pregnancy, we had names picked out prior to conception and shared them openly. What we did keep a secret for Lucy’s pregnancy was our induction date.

    • Did you find any people shared negative opinions towards your chosen names, or if they knew a so and so with the name you liked and had negative connotations with that person. Those are my reasons for wanting to keep it private. Too many opinions.

      • The only thing that happened negatively was with Oscar’s and Bella’s pregnancy. One of my sisters was planning the baby shower. One of the games was going to be having people pick the babies’ names. Jon and I came up with 10 boy names and 10 girl names for the lists. My sister said, “I hope if you’re having a girl you don’t name her Bella. I have a co-worker whose dog is named that.” Since we didn’t get to the shower, and didn’t get to play the game, I didn’t get to see her reaction to Bella being one of the chosen ones. Other than that, we didn’t really have any negative reactions to our names. I think part of that is that because we’ve had so many losses, no one is going to say anything about the names.

      • Yes, I suppose people would be more considerate of what they say to you given your history. Which is unfortunate that’s what it takes before people will think about what they say.

  4. We’ve discussed names, but aren’t set on anything yet. We had a favorite name for a girl, Sloane, and when we shared it with my friend she told me that it reminded her of the character in “Raise Your Voice,” which bummed me out on it a little. I think we’ll decide once we’ve conceived.

  5. We’ve had names picked out for years! We did start off by telling everyone as we are very open people but have variously had our names usurped or judged and so might hold the latest close to our chest…. Dante for a boy and rosalea or franchesca for a girl!

  6. I love that you have names, and you’re keeping them close between the three of you until your baby is born. It’s hard for people to be judgmental to your face after the name isn’t theoretical but a legal reality! 🙂 We have a list, one we came up with two years into IVF through very logical and systematic means at a dinner out. We have one definite girl name and two boy names, but it fluxes. We don’t share. So much is not private with infertility, so much gets shared, that we wanted to keep this close. Now that we are adopting we don’t have an opportunity necessarily to find out the sex ahead of time, so they all remain in the running until we meet this little guy or gal. How exciting to be close to finding out the gender and having a new bonding opportunity as you privately use your little one’s name! Love it.

    • We’ve kept everything about our IVF journey very private too. I guess we just like to keep things close to our chest. You are so right, when it’s a legal name, attached to a baby outside the womb people are much less likely to offer their rude opinion ha ha. We are very excited to find out the gender 🙂

  7. nonsequiturchica

    We didn’t find out the gender prior to birth but had a boy and a girl named picked out before I went in for my c-section. We didn’t tell anyone (which made my parents crazy) beforehand.

    • Oh it’s going to make the parents crazy in our case too. But I just know both sides would have disparaging remarks or try and change our minds before the birth, so no thank you on the opinions.

  8. julieann081

    I showed my mom my long lists of boy and girl names before we knew we were having a girl. It was a mistake. She had a LOT to say about names. Since that experience, we haven’t shared information publicly with anyone besides the fact that we’re having a girl. We haven’t decided for sure on a name yet, but have a few at the top of the list. One of them is Emerson, which I have liked for a long time. My mom has a problem with it (as it was on the original list) because my step-mom’s name is Emily and my mom thinks people will think Emerson was named after her (which I think is ridiculous). She also wouldn’t want to call the baby Em. *sigh*

    • Yeah I know my mom would make a face or have something to say about our name choices. I really like Emerson. That was my friends girl name choice and call her Emme for short (she had two boys, figures). Names can cause big drama for sure.

  9. My only concern was my (judgy-pants) MIL, and when she asked what names we were considering I replied “We’re working on a list and we’ll let you know when we’ve narrowed it down”. And then once we were sure I just told her the name and didn’t ask what she thought, and she gave positive feedback. People have only said nice things. Will say that I used a family name (MIL’s mother’s name) as a *middle* name, and MIL acted like she might call her by *that* name, and I promptly put my foot down and said “No that’s NOT her name or her nickname”. B*tch please, step back in line 😉 XOXO

    • Ha ha, that’s funny that your MIL thought she would call her by the middle name. Pretty sure there’s a reason it’s not the first name. I feel like I can’t use any family names without stepping on some toes, plus there are none I like enough to use anyways lol. We may use my husband’s middle name for a boy middle name. Decisions decisions!

  10. We aren’t decided on any name yet, partially because we don’t know the gender, so it makes it a bit harder to say that yes, that is definitely this baby’s name. But I also wouldn’t share early just in case we changed our minds after the birth anyway (and my mom is *very* opinionated). We don’t have many names we agree on anyway–hopefully we get that sorted out in the next 9 weeks!

  11. We knew their names long before they were conceived. But we didn’t tell anyone until after the birth. In Judaism, you don’t usually say the name until 8 days after the birth. But we told people right after the birth because things were so tenuous and crazy with the NICU.

  12. I never had favourite names as a girl (the last thing I wanted to think about as a little girl was being a mother – I wasn’t into dolls!), but in my 30s I definitely thought of some. We had names for a boy and girl, and I sometimes combine them into a pseudonym. Only my husband and I know the names though, as our pregnancies never proceeded before 8-9 weeks. I think we would have kept them secret till they were born though. I doubt we’ll ever share them now.

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