Steady Reassurance

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Wednesday I had the first appointment with my OB (who I randomly picked after googling and trying to find a doctor who delivered at the hospital I wish to use). She had some mixed reviews online, so I wasn’t sure what to think but too late now, at this point it would be tricky for me to be referred elsewhere. That’s the thing with public healthcare, you can’t always be super choosy. I’m lucky I got to pick at all, but the doctor that did my 2nd beta (from a walk in clinic) asked me if I had any preference.

From the dealings I’ve had with the OBs office leading up to this appointment I knew it was a very busy practice (there are 5 doctors in total, and each one has their own receptionist). When I first checked in with my doctors receptionist she pointed to a jar with little pieces of paper in it, asked me to take one, and pee on the little boxes to check for protein in my urine. So I had to show her after, and then turf it. It looks as though I’ll be doing this every time, as several other ladies were doing the same.

They were running behind, which I had read was a peeve of people who complained online. To me, that’s par for the course at most any doctors office, so I wasn’t all that bothered (plus I had a day off so didn’t have to worry about getting to work). J came with me, and I think they time delay bothered him (he’s a stickler for punctuality), plus he did have to go to work after so he missed almost a half day. We were taken back by a nurse who asked several questions about my family medical history and my own, took my weight and my blood pressure. From there we were taken to an exam room and told the doctor would see us soon, but in the interim a medical student would come in and ask me some questions.

The medical student came in and asked me about medications I was taking, and a bit more medical history. It is noted on my file that I am an IVF pregnancy, and he asked us how long it took to conceive. I don’t like to think about it too hard, but I swallowed and told him near 2 1/2 years. He congratulated us, and gave me the rundown of some of the do’s and don’ts (most of which were obvious, or already known to me). I asked him if we would get to hear the heartbeat at this appointment, and he told me usually they don’t check with a doppler earlier than 12 or 13 weeks because it’s not always possible to hear. But he seemed excited at the opportunity, and had a little doppler machine in his pocket so he said he’d give it a try. I laid back on the table and he started moving the probe across my stomach. He wasn’t having any luck but there were some swooshing noises and he said there was definitely something moving around in there (perhaps my breakfast…). He was quite high up on my stomach (I didn’t even have to un-do my jeans) but what do I know about where the heartbeat would be? He didn’t have any luck but I wasn’t overly bothered as I knew it might not have been possible anyways.

After a bit more discussion about prenatals, proper nutrition and exercise he left to get our OB. They came back a short time later, and Dr. A introduced herself to J and I with a firm, hearty handshake. She offered her congratulations as well, and asked a bit more about our history. She asked if there was any determination for our infertility, or whether we were unexplained. I’ve seen my chart at the fertility clinic, and technically we are listed as “unexplained”. I suppose because our motility and morphology were not as such that it should have prevented us from getting pregnant, after all the time we tried naturally plus IUIs they consider us unexplained. I would still say MFI, but I suppose it’s neither here nor there now.

She gave us a bit of a run down similar to her med student, and he mentioned to her that he had tried to find the heartbeat earlier but couldn’t. She had me lie back again for her to give it a go. This time she had me undo my jeans, and fold them down a bit so she could put the transducer just above my pelvic bone. She said normally this early in pregnancy she wouldn’t even offer to try but because I am thin, it could be possible. It took her all of about 6 seconds before we heard the steady whooshing thrum of the heartbeat. It sounded slower than last time, but I suppose back at 7 weeks the rudimentary heart could pump pretty quickly seeing as it would be pushing blood in a much smaller volume. It was fantastic to hear it again, just as a reassurance that there is still something living in there. I think the med student was a bit shy and didn’t really want to have me undo my pants for him (if he’s going into obstetrics pretty sure he’s going to have to get more comfortable).

Dr. A told us she does all of her own day deliveries (the hospital is literally right across the street from her office) so occasionally she has to rush out on her daily appointments to deliver someone’s baby. For night deliveries, her and the other 4 doctors share a rotation, which from what I gather is pretty standard so I am trying not to get completely attached to the idea of our doctor doing the delivery (or even think that far ahead).

She asked me on two separate occasions whether I had any questions and I tried, I really racked my brain before we went as to what I could ask her but I really couldn’t think of anything pressing. I’m still trying to take things slow, and not get ahead of myself so I didn’t want to get into questions about delivery, ect. She told me the timeline in which I’ll see her; every 4 weeks until 28 weeks, and then every two weeks, until I am closer to delivery then it will be once a week. She congratulated us again before she left, and that was it.

I got a pretty good vibe from her, she’s very different from my GP (whom I dislike). She doesn’t seem super polished, she has a brash raspy voice and talks quite loudly (we could hear her through the wall when she was in with another patient), but she seemed kind, and caring, even if a bit rushed. I felt comfortable, and I guess that’s what matters.

In other news, I stopped all fertility meds (progesterone, estrogen and ASA) last week and it was awesome. No more wearing panty liners, getting up early, and staying up late to take meds (7am, 3pm, 11pm, that was my schedule). I finished my pack of progesterone, and then…nothing bad happened. I was a bit freaked out to stop, but I’m sure they keep you on it longer than necessary just to be safe.

Baby is officially a fetus now, past 10 weeks (11w2d today). I still have some mild nausea but I find eating breakfast as soon as I get up helps. I get tired really easily, and I’m generally hungry near all the time. I baked a cake the other night just because I really wanted a piece of cake. Most of the time I am really into fruit, I went to the grocery store just to get oranges, apples, grapes and kiwis. I guess it’s good that they’re healthy options but of course everything I want is out of season and twice as expensive right now. My weird dreams have subsided somewhat, my skin is still awful and sleeping is so so. I really don’t have to pee any more than I used to, and I don’t get up in the night. That could be because I have a hard time staying hydrated, and because I am mostly off caffeine which is a diuretic which would have me running to the bathroom often.

We have our nuchal translucency testing next week, and the following weekend we plan to tell the parents. I’m nervous, and sort of just want to keep it a big secret forever and not make a big deal. I mean I know it is a big deal to us, and our families but being pregnant just makes me feel so awkward, with all of the unncessary attention that will be paid to me (though I do enjoy that hubby is waiting on me hand and foot). I still can’t bring myself to even step foot into a Babies’R’Us or look up any baby items I might want/need. My best friend has offered up any of her left over baby items (she has two boys, 2 and a half, and 8 months).

J and I went into the spare bedroom last night to discuss nursery organization but it was a brief, very theoretical conversation. It’s starting to feel real, but still hard to wrap my brain around. J has been adorable with everything, he gets the same baby centre updates that I do, so he’ll say to be “did you know that such and such is happening with the baby this week?”. I love that he is following along, and he has really stepped up around the house; making dinners, cleaning and taking care of the dogs when I am feeling tired or unwell.

The last, and one of the most exciting things to me right now is that we submitted my bloodwork for early gender testing. I am sooo impatient and to many people who have been through IVF I know they want to keep the gender a surprise because so much mystery has been taken out of the whole process. We should have it back somewhere around Feb. 23 and it is somewhere in the neighborhood of 95% accuracy. They test the maternal blood for the presence of Y chromosomes, indicating a male, if none are found, they assume female by process of elimination. It’s not something covered by provincial healthcare, so I did have to shell out a good chunk of money for it, but to me it’s worth not having to wait.

Slowing we are building confidence with every step of the way, but the fear of being blindsided is still there. I think the weight of pregnancy is going to become more solid in the coming weeks, looking forward to it all.

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18 thoughts on “Steady Reassurance

  1. I love hearing about your early pregnancy! It feels like so long ago and also like the other day that I was feeling the exact same things as you. It took us a long time to start setting up the nursery too, and getting to buy the first tiny pink celebratory outfit felt amazing!! Can’t wait to hear about your celebratory outfit. 🙂

    • Oh yes, I am very much hoping to go out and buy some painfully adorable little outfit once we get the gender results. It’ll make it that much more solid having a gender to attach to (and a name, because those are pretty much picked already too).

  2. Ah, the “whooshing thrum”…best sound in the world! The feeling of security does build incrementally, whatever your timeline. We went to Babies R Us after the heartbeat in this really deliberate act of reclaiming, bought a blanket and a bib to tell my MIL around Christmas. I’m just really excited for you 🙂

  3. I felt (and sometimes still feel) really awkward about being publicly pregnant too. The attention was hard at first, and a lot of the time annoying. Pregnancy seems to give people a free reign to say what they want, touch you when they want, etc. A lady I work with said “Wow Charlie is REALLY making herself known!” the other day. And I mean, yeah, she is. I’ve got a bump. I just don’t know what to say to that stuff. “Um….thanks?”

  4. I’m feeling awkwardly lost in the transition from clinic to OB especially because our clinic is remote. I think you can relate but I’m glad this doc seems good. Things are moving along nicely. 🙂 Did you get the Harmony test done?

  5. I completely understand your hesitation to buy things, tell people and just jump into this being pregnant thing. Of course we are happy, but the skepticism we had to have to survive fertility is still with us. I am still convinced most times that I will be right back in the RE’s office within a few months. But our confidence is sure to keep building and I do believe it will get better.

    • Yeah it’s all still a bit hard to believe. I think finding out the gender, passing into the second tri, once I look visibly pregnant and feel movement, those things will help to make it feel more real.

  6. It was so hard for me to tell people I was pregnant. My husband was so excited and telling everyone, but I just couldn’t make the jump. I’m 31 weeks and it’s still weird to me when people comment on it. Glad you got to hear the heartbeat!

    • Yeah, I’m struggling with it. I am excited, with just me and hubby but I don’t get an excited feeling when I think about telling other people, it makes me nervous for some reason. I felt like I was going to puke when I told my boss (may have been the morning sickness, or the fact that I had to tell early). I like just keeping it a big secret. I don’t know how I’m going to tell the rest of my office. Just wait until it’s obvious enough that someone asks ha ha.

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