Infertility has given me a lot of reasons to cry, yet I don’t. Why that is, I do not know.
They threaten to appear, sometimes with the tightness in my chest, sometimes with the chokehold on my throat. Other times they make it all the way to the rims of my eyelids but they do not fall. I don’t blink them away, or swallow them down, sometimes they would be a welcome release. A much needed outlet of emotion.
They come in unexpected waves, rising up at an unexpected turn, but never do they fall from my eyes and roll down my cheeks. Perhaps they’re waiting for the day when they can be happy tears instead.