#Microblog Mondays: Looking Back, and Looking Forward

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Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

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One year ago today, I had my first IUI. I was stressed because the day before, I couldn’t tell if the line on my ovulation predictor test was darker than the control. I was used to the ones that either have an empty circle for no ovulation, or a smiley face for imminent ovulation. I like my predictor kits fool proof, what can I say. But my clinic suggested a particular brand, so I did what they said. Held their word as gospel, if I just followed their instructions to a T, maybe they would make me pregnant. In any case, I decided the test was telling me I was about to ovulate, and went for my IUI the next morning. I was happy that it fell on a Sunday and I didn’t have to miss any work, and also thankful that it wasn’t any later as I flew out of town that same evening, and was gone for 9 days on a work trip. In hindsight, I’m fairly certain that the OPK wasn’t quite positive, and had I checked the next day it would have been, but then I wouldn’t have been able to have my IUI and the Clomid would have been all for naught. Obviously it did not result in a positive pregnancy test, and probably wouldn’t have no matter what the timing, but I was rather distraught over the whole event.

Looking back at how worked up I was over the whole thing makes me realize how far I’ve come. Not that I don’t stress over every tiny detail still, but I have come so much further than I could have imagined, and I’m still standing. Now I am looking forward, with hope to the future, and knowledge of the past. No matter what comes, I have it within me to carry on. Life does not stop, even when dreams change, shift, or all together end.

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10 thoughts on “#Microblog Mondays: Looking Back, and Looking Forward

  1. I think I ovulated early on one on my IUIs. My RE’s response “yeah, sometimes that happens”. I was so annoyed at that time, because what if that was going to be the one that worked? Now I feel I can say ‘we really only did 4 IUIs before moving on to IVF’ and I don’t feel so stupid. Your so right about how your perspective changes

    • Thank you, sometimes I don’t feel hopeful, but it is like a long walk home. You’re feet keep moving because you know you have to get “there” somehow. Wherever “there” may be…

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