#Microblog Mondays: Blink

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Time goes by in the blink of an eye. With infertility, time crawls in the moment but looking back time passes so quickly and you can’t believe how much has gone by.

Blink. An hour gone. Blink. A day gone. Blink, a week, a month, a year.

Blink. Two of my birthday passed by since we started trying to conceive. Three of J’s.

Blink. Multiple family gatherings, the birth of other people’s children, the death of loved ones.

Blink. 28 cycles, and 28 failures. 3 IUIs, one round of IVF, 0 transfers. 0 pregnancies.

Blink. 2 and a half years of my life gone in the blink of an eye. And what do I have to show for all my efforts besides a depleted bank account, and a weary soul?

The only thing keeping me moving forward is the hope that the next time I blink, when I open my eyes I’ll have another set looking back at me. The eyes of J and I, intertwined. And I’ll never want to close my eyes again.

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14 thoughts on “#Microblog Mondays: Blink

  1. Beautifully said and you capture the passage of time so well. The part that touched me most was, “The only thing keeping me moving forward is the hope that the next time I blink, when I open my eyes I’ll have another set looking back at me.” Hugs for you!

  2. You’re right: time flies but it doesn’t. And I see you’re no stranger to the frustrating ‘hurry up and wait’ game of delays, which compound the anxiety over the passing of time. I’m wishing for a good outcome for you!

  3. Elizabeth

    Powerful post. Amazing how I am keeping track of the time/cycles passing over birthdays/anniversaries without even realizing. It’s true, the hope in your last paragraph keeps me going, too.

  4. This also made me cry. I’m a bit on edge today. You are so right — in the moment, it feels as if it’s moving so slowly as you wait for results. But it is just a blink.

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