Well, I am officially stimming. I am on day 3 of my meds, and so far the only one I am on is Menopur. I go back to the clinic on Thursday for my next blood work and ultrasound check and I am really hoping everything looks good. I keep obsessing over the fact that when my cycle almost got cancelled, the nurse called me and told me to stop birth control (the birth control that she initially didn’t even know I was on, yet was prescribed to me by the clinic at my request) and told me I could start stims on Jul. 20. I just stammered some sort of confirmation and hung up the phone, not mentioning the fact that I had already stopped birth control 4 days prior…because birth control ends on a Sunday, and I was speaking to her on Thursday. So I am really hoping that doesn’t bugger things up, but I am thinking (hoping) that it should be fine because they had my estrogen level, and saw my ovaries and lining, and apparently it all looked good (after they found out I was on birth control). Based on that, I hope all will be well.

photo 1

My meds for 4 days. Yup, just 4 days, $1350…

So, my first injection actually went very smoothly. It was a bit of a slow process because I am on 375 IU of menopur (does that seem high to anyone?), so it take 5 vials of powder and lots of mixing. I have a little cardboard mat that came with my menopur that has a spot for each thing I will need so I can lay it out, and not forget anything. I try to be very methodical about it because I really don’t want to fuck it up. I thought the needle would be awful, and that I would have a hard time sticking myself, but it has really been a very surreal out of body experience. I didn’t hesitate for very long at all before doing the first one. The needle is quite small, so that helps. It really doesn’t hurt going in, it’s the menopur that sucks. It stings quite a bit going in. I do it slowly because I am scared it might hurt more if I do it too quickly. It grosses me out that I can feel it going in.

Meds for dummies mat. Actually quite helpful.

Meds for dummies mat. Actually quite helpful.

My bio hazard waste bag, and the little not-so-scary needle.

My bio hazard waste bag, and the little not-so-scary needle.

Now that I am three days in, I am feeling…something. Today at work I had some sort of pressure, and rumblings in my lower abdomen. It’s a weird feeling that I haven’t had before, and can’t really describe. I did my third shot tonight and I was feeling pretty uncomfortable afterwards. Nothing awful, or intolerable but not particularly nice. I was laying on my side and I had to roll onto my back because it was causing awkward pressure. I am sort of surprised to feel something already, but I know it’s not just in my head because I already have an abundance of EWCM, which I have heard comes from the extra estrogen in your body.

The stinging from the menopur subsides fairly quickly, but then the site of the shot is tender the following day. It could also be my technique that’s causing the tenderness, who knows. I’m doing the best that I can. I decided to ice my belly before and after the shot tonight, see if that makes any difference. I think I am also going to buy a heating pad for when I start to get even more pressure, and bloating. I’m nervous that if things are already rumbling that it’s going to be really not fun by the end, but only time will tell. I suppose if things are moving along too quickly they will change my dosages.

My day one injection site, so far the one that is still the most obvious. Practice makes perfect?

My day one injection site, so far the one that is still the most obvious. Practice makes perfect?

In other news my sister in law is in town for the next few days. Apparently she had plans to be here all along, yet just message myself and J tonight to see if we could watch her younger daughter tomorrow evening. Terrible timing. She is just under 1 year old, and I’m sure I would have no problem watching her but I don’t want to. As terrible as that sounds, I don’t need to deal with someone else’s child while shooting myself up to try and have one of my own. Plus the timing would have been such that J wouldn’t be home so I would have to manage our two dogs (one of which doesn’t like children, I know something to address at a later time), a baby in a non baby friendly house, and at some point in there also giving myself my shot.

Not only is her timing terrible (not that she’s aware of that) but she asked us last minute, when we both work, and have lives that don’t revolve around children. I don’t have to work tomorrow, which would have been fortunate for her, otherwise it would have been a definite no. I told her I would try and make it work, if her other possibility fell through. I felt bad saying (almost) no, but seriously, even if we weren’t in the middle of IVF this would have been inconsiderate. She lamented to us that all of her friends who had previously offered to babysit declined because “when push comes to shove, a baby cramps their style”. Direct quote. She can be a lovely person, but sometimes, just…headsmack.

So all in all, I am surviving injections. Conveniently, I have to work late on Thursday so I have the morning off, and can go to my next monitoring appointment without rousing too much suspicion at work. Here’s hoping everything goes off with out a hitch. We are still trying to buy a new condo, the offer has been presented, just waiting to hear back. Also waiting to hear back from a tropical paradise to see if they would like to sponsor my hubby to come join their island workforce (which would cause us to back out on the condo offer). Still a lot going on, but overall I am feeling pretty zen. I have moments of anxiety when I think ahead to the “what ifs”. So I try not to do that. I have enough things pulling me in different directions that they all distract from each other, but IVF is numero uno, so if everything else falls through, I have some perspective. Things could be worse (and they may be). But we’ll save that all for another day.



12 thoughts on “Rumblings

  1. Don’t be shy about maintaining your boundaries during this time. For some reason, the minute you’re unavailable, everyone and their grandma will need a favor from you, no more maybes, just say no. My sister in law also keeps asking me to babysit, I can’t babysit, I can’t even lift the Brita pitcher out of the fridge. I keep saying no, she keeps asking.

    • Yes, you’re right. I guess I don’t like to say no without giving a reason, and I’m not about to give anyone the real reason. But I’ll just have to be tough and do what’s best for me.

      All the best to you, I’m so happy to hear about your little one that’s on track and so sorry to hear about the one that didn’t make it. Such a bittersweet time I’m sure. Take care of yourself!

  2. Glad to hear the needles are too horrible. I agree with Bodyshopgirl. I will be enforcing some strict boundaries during our IVF cycle. It’s seriously the time to put yourself first. It ain’t your problem that the SIL is stuck.

    • My tummy is a little sore now, on day 4, and I have to add another injection starting tonight. I’ll survive though! And yeah, Murphy’s Law, when I am in a position where I can’t be doing any favors, that’s when people need something from me. I just read your post about your sis, that’s drama you don’t need.

  3. 5 vials of powder seems a little high to me, but heck, what do I know?! I only got to 2 vials, but I was only other stim drugs at the same time too, so maybe that’s the difference. Good luck to you!!

      • Elizabeth

        Good luck! I am a similar boat, hoping I don’t screw up hundreds of dollars of meds. Looks like you are rocking it!

      • Bah, me too except so far I’m at about $3000 worth of meds and I don’t even have all of what I need yet (though the first $5000 is covered, hoping I don’t have to do this again and pay for meds). Do you have a blog? I don’t see a link back with your name…?

  4. Elizabeth

    Nope- I don’t have a blog. I’ve been thinking about it, not sure what’s holding me back on starting one. I really appreciate your blog and others- feels like I can go through this with other people.

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