Chapters of Life

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In a little less than a month I will be standing up with a good friend of mine at her wedding. Our mom’s have been best friends since the 9th grade, and were pregnant with us a few months apart from each other and therefore, her and I grew up together. When we were younger, our mom’s used to dress us the same, we spent practically every weekend together (because our mom’s did), had swimming lesson together, went camping together, ect, ect. She is like a sister to me.

Over time, as we got older, with different interests, groups of friends, and no longer being dragged everywhere our mother’s went, we began to drift apart. We still had that link, the one you have with someone you spent a majority of your childhood with, but didn’t see each other as often, or keep up with the specific goings-on in each others lives. In high school we ended up at the same school as each other for the first time in our lives, but we ran with different circles, so our paths rarely crossed. It did however, put us in closer proximity to one another than we had been for years. Once high school finished we drifted further apart again, as I moved to Europe, and she went on with her life by joining the workforce.

Although we didn’t see each other very often, or have the close relationship that we once did, when I got engaged, and the time came for me to choose my bridal party, I knew I wanted her in it. Because we had our wedding in Jamaica, we knew we would lose some guests to the cost of the trip. Initially my sister-friend declined because it would have been a stretch for her to come. A few months from the wedding date she changed her mind and borrowed some money from her mom because she said she felt that she would regret it if she wasn’t there. I was thrilled (especially as my best friend who was supposed to be my maid of honor had backed out). So when she got engaged, I knew it would be my turn to stand by her side.

Myself and the other bridesmaids hosted her bridal shower and stagette this weekend for her. These types of parties are interesting because there are usually women in all stages of life in attendance; friends, aunties, cousins. Some were newly engaged, newly married, newly pregnant or newly parents. There were at least 3 pregnant women there. I tried not to keep track of them but unfortunately one sat down right next to me.

The other women at the table of course peppered her with questions about her pregnancy, and began discussing their plans for future children. One of the women at the table, who is newly engaged and getting married next year, shared that she was going to get off the pill a month or two before her wedding so they could get pregnant right away. To which the pregnant woman responded, “you know we started trying right after the wedding and it just didn’t happen, didn’t happen and finally when I had given up…poof!”. The newly engaged one nodded her head and advised that if you think about it too much, and try to hard you just get too stressed out and need to quit trying. I found out during the course of the conversation that the pregnant one is due in October, and their 1 year wedding anniversary is in August. So yeah, the obviously tried for a really long time (where is the sarcasm font when you need it!). It was at this point I got up and walked away to fill my glass with more punch. Delicious, alcohol filled punch.

Otherwise the shower was very nice. It made me reminisce of the time leading up to my wedding, when I was the blushing bride, filled with hope and ideas for our future to come. Following the shower we went for dinner and then to a nightclub afterwards. I indulged in a few cocktails, but didn’t get out of hand. I find no appeal in being excessively drunk, which will lead to being desperately hungover the next day. I also tried raw oysters for the first time, and they were delicious. It’s too bad I didn’t discover them before now as that may be a food on the no-no list soon (hopefully!).

Yesterday J and I watched some of the US open (congrats to Martin Kaymer!) and the announcers were incessantly talking about father’s day. J got a little annoyed and changed the channel a few times at some father’s day chatter, or commercials aimed at fathers. We went to my grandpa’s for dinner which my mom guilted me into, but ended up being not so bad.

My friend’s wedding is July 12, fast approaching. I will be starting a new pack of birth control this upcoming Sunday. My last pill will be the day of the wedding, which should bring me to CD1 a few short days later, when I will call my clinic to book my baseline ultrasound, and start my stimming procedure. The new chapter of her life will coincide nicely with what will be the next in my story as well. What will be written is yet to be seen.

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4 thoughts on “Chapters of Life

  1. Hi my name is Jillian and I will also be starting our first IVF cycle sometime in August or early September. I had the same bittersweet feelings when I was at the last wedding my husband and I attended. Right now I really don’t want to remember the hopeful, confident and completely clueless woman that I was before we discovered our infertility. I want to beat this thing and then go back to being the woman that I was . . . even though I know I’ll never be completely the same person again . . . thanks!

    Wishing you all the best as you move forward.

    • Thank you, and all the best to you as well. I want to beat this thing and be done with it…although I think I’m past the point of it being that simple. Hoping that IVF at least brings a take home baby 🙂

  2. Ughhh,I used to count the pregnant women I saw everywhere… anytime I was out I would come home with a total in my head. It was torture! That October lady needs to know that doesn’t qualify as “trying” in my book! I’ve said this to many of my friends dealing with infertility and I’ll say it to you. Women like that can’t mentally deal with what we have gone through to get our babies. They just don’t have the GUTS. I know it is so heartbreaking, but you can do this, you can handle it! That always made me feel in control and powerful to know I was stronger than somebody else.

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