Musings from the Gym

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No, this isn’t my musings about the gym, this is me writing this on my phone from the gym. I meant to post a quick update yesterday but I was slammed all day at work (where I often draft posts in my recently ample downtime) and came home to collapse. Today was a similar story, super busy at work, ended up staying a bit late and then came home and worked from the couch for a little longer. I still have a bit more to do tonight but J asked if I wanted to come to the gym and for once I miraculously obliged (I hate the gym, save for my yoga class so it’s a rarity when I agree to come with him).

So I figured since I am feeling a bit lazy I’ll take it easy on myself and write a blog post while biking. Hey, don’t judge it’s better than staying on the couch (which in all honesty was my first choice).

There’s not much to tell in regards to the job front for J yet. He had his phone interview with some of the management from the location. He said it went well, more behavioural questions, a bit more information on how they run their location and that was it. They told him they are still in the process of interviewing other candidates but that they hope to let him know next week.

Damn, I was hoping maybe he was the only qualified applicant. Wishful thinking right? So anyways we wait again. I really really really want this one. I was searching job opportunities in the area and there are a few fantastic opportunities for me. I am trying not to get my hopes up though as we are the under dogs.

Oh, I guess the news I do have is the other location we were waiting on has gone with someone else. So were back to just one, all hopes on the most recent. All the eggs in one basket.

I’m not sure how long we can play at this, apply, interview, declined, repeat. Letting our hopes get up a little each time. We put ourselves on TTC time out but this situation seems to be a parallel. We have an appt with our RE on Apr. 14 so that might help us a bit to discuss our situation with the dr. Then we are going on a Caribbean vacay for 10 days at the end of April and I’m hoping we can rest, relax and rejuvenate ourselves and then come back refreshed and ready to make some decisions.

I like having a plan so this free flowing business is for the birds, in my opinion. J and I have really let all of the TTC stuff fall away for now, we don’t really talk about “when” we’ll have kids, this and that. We’re trying to just take a break from it all. Sometimes it feels like walking on egg shells and other times it just feels like a relief to put down the burden for a bit. So we’ll see what happens in the coming weeks.

In other news my sister in law sent me a little gift-y in the mail. She loves sending things in the mail and I will admit it has a personal touch. She saw (and commented on) the article I posted on Facebook and wrote about here last week. She sent me a card with some nice body oils and a little bag of my favorite gourmet jelly beans. I don’t have the card with me but it said something along the lines of “saw the article you posted and that you might need this”, just a nice little pick-me-up gesture. It’s very sweet.

My sister in law is a very thoughtful, caring and sweet (sickeningly so sometimes) person. Her and I are very different and if I had met her under different circumstance I’m fairly certain we would not be friends. And even though I still don’t always see eye to eye with her or understand her motivations sometimes, we have a bond. We relate in that we both married into our now shared family and we have an alliance, her and I.

I should mention I have literally never discussed our infertility with her and she gets it all as byproduct from her husband (my brother in law) that J gives him. It’s a convolute situation, I know. Her and her husband, along with my nieces, live in a different city but she has been a silent supporter, this I know.

It’s the first real acknowledgment anyone I know in real life (that know about our IF) has ever given. Can you tell I’m an extremely private person? I’m still not really ready to let anyone fully in. I just don’t want to discuss it with anyone who can’t truly get it, no matter how sincere and understanding they may be. So perhaps I’m putting up walls, but it’s all I’ve got holding me together sometimes.

Now that I’ve sort of jumped from one topic to the next, I’ll bid you all a good night. Back to my lame-o Saturday night workout. Bonne nuite!

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2 thoughts on “Musings from the Gym

  1. I am jealous of the gifts 😉 Especially jelly beans! I really, really hope that one of these interviews works out. I am pretty sure I go through the same emotional roller coaster with trying to get a new assignment from the Air Force. And everytime we are shot down, I am irately pissed and want to hurt something. It has to work out one of these times, right?

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