Which Way Do I Turn?


I am on day 4 of being laid up on the couch, sick with a disgusting cough and cold, and generally just feeling like a piece of junk. It gives me too much time to think, to ponder our circumstances. As of now all of the positive prospects are seeming to disappear. Once J spoke with the recruiters and they verified that he is a Canadian citizen, and is not legally allowed to work in the US (without first being sponsored for a work visa) they seemed less eager. He is amazing at his job and any of these locations would be lucky to have him, but because of the passport he holds, he is second choice to any American citizen. Which, ok, ok, I get that it’s not fair to bring in a “foreigner” to take a job from an American, but if he is the best one for the job then he should have it. I may be premature in my worrying, but I don’t think I am. One of the locations, the one that first showed interest, was initially very keen to talk to him, have him Skype with the team, ect. Once he spoke to their recruiter it seems as though their interest has cooled.

So I’m not really sure where that leaves us. It feels like Plan B to TTC is already falling apart and I haven’t even finished one non-TTC cycle. I suppose if we’re not going anywhere, there is no reason not to pursue IVF. We still have an appointment with our RE in April that we plan on going to, regardless of what happens. I guess it will be our IUI WTF appointment, and to get information for IVF. I know he could suggest injectable IUI cycles, but that just seems like a waste of time and money when the main problem is J’s sperm. I just don’t know if I am ready to jump into all of that just yet. I was excited for something new, a break, a reprieve, to take back control of our lives.

Also, I was searching job opportunities in some of the cities where J applied for transfer, just to see what might be available for me. One of the companies I stumbled upon is an international firm, with positions in my current city as well as one of our prospective cities. I submitted my information to their “database” just to have something in my back pocket. I didn’t specifically apply for anyone position, but their recruiter contacted me the following day and I’ve agreed to speak to her on Thursday. Uhhh, now what? I don’t want to lose out on a good opportunity (here, or elsewhere), it just makes things a lot more complicated.

If J isn’t going to get a transfer, then I want a position with this other company. It would mean no weekends, AND…working from home! Which sounds awesome, but also freaky. Another one of the reasons I am interested in making a move is that I am having concerns about my department at my current company. We (as in my department, spread over several offices) have been hemorrhaging money for some time and I fear they may close us down (it happened with our subsidiary in a different province). They are pulling out all the stops marketing wise, and they did a huge reorg about 6 months back. It feels like we are all walking on thin ice, and there are not a lot of other positions, or companies that are as good as the one I work for. Sure I have my complaints about my job, but I could do (and have done) a lot worse.

Lastly, it would mean a new benefits package. My current one does not cover anything IF related. J’s covers medications up to a max of $5000 per lifetime, for each of us. But considering that all of the drugs will be for me, J’s $5000 is essentially useless. Being that this other company is international they may have a better benefits package than I currently have (J’s company is international and he has way better benefits than me).

So, I guess it is still a waiting game. Once I speak to the recruiter I can try and make some decisions, and hopefully J will hear back from someone (ANYONE?!). Why does grown up life have to be so hard?

On a totally separate TV related rant discussion. Did anyone watch Glee tonight? (Yes, I am a sucker for musical anything). There was a TTC related story line, with some legit stats to start, but then it diverged into an ad for “Just relax and let it happen” and a sickening musical number. I almost hurled the remote at the TV, but that would take more energy that my sickly little body has right now. Aaaaand spoiler alert she gets pregnant! Fuck you Glee.

Also, I saw a commercial for that piece of shit they call a TV show, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, and apparently the “mom” (I use that term loosely, pretty sure she doesn’t actually do any mothering) thinks she might be pregnant. Well that’s just…. Yeah, I got nothing.

6 thoughts on “Which Way Do I Turn?

  1. Mallory

    Glee always botches their attempts at discussing real life important issues. Call me cold-hearted but I even thought the episode after Finn (Corey Monteith) died was awful. I used to love that show but it has slowly gone down the tubes! Tragic!

    • I still watch it because I generally love the music. Didn’t love the Cory tribute episode, but didn’t stop me from crying through the whole thing :s I had a weird over attachment to him, like he was a friend in real life…lol. And I smell a miscarriage episode coming up.

      • Mallory

        Oh gawd, I wonder if anyone will tell her “at least you know you can get pregnant”?

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