It’s the Final Countdown!/Relationship Challenge Day 15

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Well, IUI #3 is in the books now. I was trying to stay cool but I get sooo anxious the morning of the IUIs it literally makes me sick to my stomach (I have a nervous tummy). I tried to preempt the nauseau by taking some pepto bismal and a ginger tablet this morning when I got up. It helped a little but I still felt pretty ill. Couldn’t eat breakfast, and even the tea I had between the time when J gave his sample, and they called us back was churning my tummy.

We were both more outwardly calm this time, except when we got there I realized my wallet was still in my gym bag from last night, so J had to pay. Only, his credit card was maxed because he has a low limit and he just bought a really expensive camera. So we did a little quick online banking and moved money onto his debit card. Thank goodness for banking apps, and smart phones! I swear, there is always some sort of hiccup, every time we go to the clinic. But, this was rather minor and fixed quickly, it just set us on edge for a moment.

So anywho, he gave his sample (no blood in it, like last time. Yay!). So we went to get a coffee/tea and kill some time before they were done with the washing. So we left at 8:15, they told us it would be about 45 minutes but to come back in half an hour just to be safe. So we did, back by 8:45, waiting, waiting, it’s past 9, now it’s almost 9:30, what the hell is going on, is there a problem? So finally just after 9:30 they took us back, and apologized for the wait as they were using a different washing protocol and it took longer than normal. Ok, well at least nothing was wrong. His count was 16 million post wash, Not his worst, but not great either. I think she said it was 43% motility, and they were all at level 4 for forward movement (best score, out of a scale of 0 – 4).

We had a different nurse, yet again. The clinic is very large and they have a lot of different staff. The only one that stays constant is the receptionist. She is young (ok, like my age probably), black hair, and lots of tattoos. She doesn’t have the friendliest demeanor, she’s just very mechanical. It seemed as though she had a trainee today though, as a different lady checked us in today (under Tattoo’s watchful eye). We have never had the same nurse, or lab tech through all 3 of our IUIs.

The nurse we had today was really nice, and very thorough but she took the longest actually doing the IUI and it was the most uncomfortable one. I’m sure J hates that part because I scrunched my face at the pain, and try to just breathe, and I know he knows it’s hurting me. But, I told him he is off the hook now. He did his part, and now there is nothing more either of us can do but wait.

Before the IUI, the nurse asked me what cycle day it was, and when I got my positive OPK. I told her it was positive last night, and then again this morning still (yes, I tested again and both types of OPKs I used were positive). She didn’t scold me for testing again in the morning but she told me I didn’t need to do that. I said, I know I was just curious, and since we’re not doing another IUI I don’t need to be stingy about using them up. She said they’ve had patients who would get a positive one day and then not the next morning, and cancel their IUI because of it.

I knew even if it was negative this morning, doesn’t mean anything because yesterday could have been the tail end of the surge. Plus, prior to doing IUIs I used to test in the morning and I found that when I did that I seemed to always ovulate the same day as the positive OPK (based on BBT), so it makes most sense that I do it in the afternoon, as requested by the clinic to catch the beginning of the surge, so I go for the IUI on the correct day.

Anyways, I digress. Onto my final (for an indeterminate amount of time) TWW!

*I forgot to add, my beta is set for Feb. 14. How ironic…Lucky we don’t celebrate Valentines Day or that could potentially be a really shitty day. Alternatively, perhaps after this one we might want to celebrate it.

Relationship Challenge Day 15:

Consider Some Hard Facts about Shared Work
One obstacle to happiness? Feeling resentful when another person won’t do his or her share of work. Consider these facts about shared work:
Fact 1: Work done by others sounds easy. How hard can it be to take care of a newborn baby who sleeps twenty hours a day? To return a few phone calls? To fill out some forms? Often, daily work by other people sounds easy. This fact leads us to under-estimate how onerous a particular task is, and that makes it easy to assume that we don’t need to help or provide support.
Fact 2: When you’re doing a job that benefits others, it’s easy to assume that they’re aware of your work—that they should feel grateful, and that they feel guilty about not helping you.
But no! Often, the more reliably you perform a task, the less likely it is for someone to notice that you’re doing it, and to feel grateful, and to feel any impulse to help or to take a turn. You think, “I’ve been taking out the garbage for weeks! When do I get a break?” In fact, the longer you take out the garbage, the less likely it is that someone will do it.
Fact 3: If you care more about a task being done, you’re more likely to end up doing it–and just because you care about it doesn’t mean that others feel the same way. You think it’s important to clean out the basement, and you expect your spouse to share the work, but your spouse thinks, “We never use the basement anyway, so why bother?” People are much less likely to share work they deem unimportant. At least not without a lot of nagging.
Fact 4. If you want someone else to do a task, don’t do it yourself. This sounds obvious, but think about it. If you think you shouldn’t have to do it—don’t. Someone else is a lot more likely to do it if you don’t do it first. Of course, this doesn’t always work. Someone must get the kids ready for school. But many tasks are optional.
So resolve to “Consider the hard facts about shared work,” and see if these points alter the way you think about work you share with others.

I don’t have a lot to elaborate on this, because it is all very true. Basically, if you want something done right (aka your version of right) do it yourself, and if you don’t want to do it, don’t complain when someone else does it, but not to your standards. I find there are chores that J or I don’t mind doing, and ones that we each hate. We try and be fair, dividing things up but sometimes I do feel like I always cook dinner, or I always take the dogs to the the groomers. It’s not true that it is an always or never situation, but it feels like it sometimes. It’s good to keep in mind that there are probably things that J does that I don’t take note of. I can try and be appreciative of the tasks that he always takes care of. But overall, I think we have a pretty good divide.

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3 thoughts on “It’s the Final Countdown!/Relationship Challenge Day 15

  1. Yay for IUI#3. I can so understand your nervousness. I’m just the same! And I can’t blame you for testing twice with OPKs…I would have done just the same. I don’t remember, but did you do a trigger shot? I was never asked to POAS, but I was wondering how they know for sure whether you’ve ovulated or not after a trigger shot? Anyhow, welcome to the miserable TWW 😉 May you be granted better nerves than me…lol.

    • No, I don’t use a trigger shot. I am just to rely on the OPK’s, if I get a positive in the afternoon it means the next day is the day of the IUI. I’m pretty regular so the timing has generally been pretty accurate. I feel like there would be more control using a trigger, but then again, you just have to trust that with blind faith (unless you check it with OPK’s, though I’m not sure that works with a trigger?)

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