Reconnecting/Relationship Challenge: Day 11


Happy Saturday to all, I had another hectic day at work. I have tomorrow off and then back at it until IUI day. Last night Best Friend text me, and said she realized it’s almost the end of the month, and asked when was I having my next IUI? She went to Mexico for a week in the middle of January and we had a brief, awkward visit just before she left, at which point I was in the middle of a TWW, but she didn’t ask then and I didn’t volunteer that info. She knew we took a break in December but I think she thought the next IUI wouldn’t be until later in the month. She doesn’t know my cycles so she wouldn’t have known I’m in a two-IUI-month.

I think she was a little surprised when I told her I had an IUI on Jan. 2 and that it had failed. She missed an entire cycle because we’re feeling awkward about her being pregnant and me not. I told her our last IUI would be this coming week and I will get a Valentines day reveal, and a possible early birthday present (my bday is on the 18th).

When I told her our final IUI was quickly bearing down on us she said she wasn’t sure what to say, that she was trying to think of something but she couldn’t. She told me she’s sad it’s my last one but understands, and she asked me how I was feeling about it all.

It was so nice to have her check in with me. I told her it’s ok that she doesn’t have anything to say. There isn’t really anything for her to say, but I appreciated her just asking after me. I told her I’m nervous but ready for some resolution. And then I bit the bullet and asked after her baby-in-utero.

I think she was relieved that we could have a semi normal conversation about what was going on with me and what was going on with her because she thanked me for the chat and told me she was missing me. I missed her too. It stinks not having your best friend to talk to. So I think we’re good now.

Only problem now is her gender scan is on Tuesday and if it’s a girl I’m going to die a little inside. She will have her perfect little family, one boy, one girl, spaced just under two years apart with her successful corporate hubby and her cute little two story house. Not that I want all of that necessarily, but some of it. Is it too much to ask for my own little piece?

But in any case it will be exciting to know the gender, though Best Friend thinks the baby will be uncooperative and she’ll be doomed to gender neutral till the baby comes. We shall see.

Onto Relationship Challenge: Day 11
Quit Nagging

In a romantic relationship, or in a family, or any partnership, chores are a huge source of conflict. Who does what? How do you get someone else to hold up his or her end, without nagging? Consider these points:
It’s annoying to hear a hectoring voice, so suggest tasks without words. Leave a note, send an email, put a bottle out on the counter to suggest that the prescription needs re-filling.
If you need to voice a reminder, limit yourself to one word or phrase. Instead of barking out, “Now remember, I’ve told you a dozen times, stop off at the grocery store, we need milk, if you forget, you’re going right back out!” Instead, call out, “Grocery store!” or “Milk!”
Don’t insist that a task be done on your schedule. “You’ve got to trim those hedges today!” Says who? Try, “When are you planning to trim the hedges?” If possible, show why something needs to be done by a certain time. “Will you be able to trim the hedges before our party next week?”
Assign chores based on personal priorities. If you hate a messy bedroom, make tidying the bedroom your job.
Re-frame: decide that you don’t mind doing a chore—like putting clothes in the hamper or hanging up wet towels. This is often surprisingly easy.
No carping from the sidelines. If someone else makes the travel arrangements, don’t criticize the flight time. If someone else gets the kids dressed, don’t mock the outfits. If you want something done your way, do it yourself.
Remember that messy areas tend to stay messy, and tidy areas tend to stay tidy. If you want others to be neat, be neat yourself.
Resolve to “Quit nagging.” After all—at least in my experience—it doesn’t even work!

Ooooh I suck at this one. I hate to nag but I also hate when shit doesn’t get done (or in the case of annoying habits, does get done. Ahem, towel on the floor). I like the idea of rephrasing it so it’s not so demanding. I do try and not criticize J if he is at least trying (like his attempts at loading the dishwasher). Better to let him do it unless I want to take care of it myself. Because I am not a nag!


2 thoughts on “Reconnecting/Relationship Challenge: Day 11

  1. Ooof. This is my thoughts exactly!: “Ooooh I suck at this one. I hate to nag but I also hate when shit doesn’t get done (or in the case of annoying habits, does get done. Ahem, towel on the floor).”
    I feel ya about the best, too. I have a good friend who is currently trying for baby #3 while we’re still trying for baby #1 (for almost 5 years now). It gets roooough.

    • I told J what the relationship tip for the day was and he goes, “you don’t nag”. Ha, I don’t know if he was just tryin to be sweet and lie or if he legit feels like I don’t but I feel like I do. A lot. And yeah the besty thing is tricky. She’s jealous of my child free life and I’m jealous of her fertile womb lol.

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