It’s not envy; it’s absence


Found this through the blog round up at Stirrup Queens and loved it. So amazingly well written and the perfect, eloquent explanation of an unexplainable feeling.

the unexpected trip

Today at Trader Joe’s, I was surrounded by women my age or younger, all of whom had babies strapped to them, or toddlers in the cart, or little hands inside theirs. One mother beside me was picking out bags of nuts from the shelf, just like me, except she had a cheerleader in the cart beside her, a two-year-old boy going: “Yah! Yeah! Yahhh!!!” every time she tossed a bag of nuts into the cart.

“Yah!” the mother cheered back. “Nuts! Yeah! Woo!”

“Yeah!!!” he cried, then threw back his head and roared with laughter.

They went on like this for ages, grinning, absolutely smitten with each other.

I moved away from them, and felt that empty space in the front of my own cart yawning wide.

I adjusted my eyes so that I couldn’t see any details around me—shifted my eyes into “middle distance” mode. I usually do this…

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2 thoughts on “It’s not envy; it’s absence

    • My pleasure! I started this blog to get my feelings out so that I don’t explode but sometimes I don’t even know how to put the feelings into words, so sometimes it’s just easier to use someone elses words when they’re so perfect 🙂

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