Yesterday I decided I should probably go out and buy some OPK’s because it was CD12 and I had an IUI schedule for today (I am supposed to start testing the day before my first scheduled IUI), but I have never ovulated earlier than CD14, and it is usually CD15 so it was really just a mere formality at this point. I had booked off work Friday morning (CD14) because that is when I ovulated last month.
I got a smiley face at 4:15pm yesterday afternoon. Fuck. Didn’t see that coming. Cue a little bit of a freak out, because I thought I had at least one more day to…I dunno prepare? So immediately J and I are a little on edge.
My RE’s office says to use the Clearblue, non digital tests but I sometimes have a hard time deciding if the test line is darker than the control (I had a bit of a freak out last month when I wasn’t 100% sure if it was positive or not. And I’m pretty sure I was off last month). Sooo, I decided to use my good ol’ smiley face tests. Then when I got a smiley face I doubted whether those tests were accurate enough. So I went out and bought the Clearblue non digital and peed on it at 9:45pm, as well as another digital test. Just to make sure. Both positive, definitely. Awesome, I just spent almost $100 on something to pee on and throw in the garbage. And if I get pregnant this month, the rest of the box will be useless. Yay me. On the bright side, one of the test packs came with a bonus pregnancy test…
We were the first appointment of the day which was one positive of the day, because it meant less waiting and I could still get to work on time. So we check in, J went off to give his sample, and I settled into the waiting area and tried not to vomit/pee my pants. I have a touchy stomach, and a nervous bladder when I am really stressed out or worked up about something so I was not feeling well. When J came back he looked like he had seen a ghost. He sat down and informed me that there was blood in his “specimen”. What. The. Fuck. Well isn’t this just an awesome start to IUI #2. So we had to wait the 45 minutes for the nurse to wash the sample, and for her to talk to the Dr. and see if it was even going to be useable. In the meantime I went to the bathroom fifty hundred times. J was shaken, stressed, and I don’t blame him. This has never happened to him before, so he was very shocked.
We waited, and waited for what seemed like an eternity. Finally they called us back, the nurse advised us that the Dr. said it would still be fine to use. It was fresh blood (ok…) and that it would be ok even though the sample they were putting in me was a light red due to the blood. I know I swap bodily fluids with him all the time, but it was still a bit heebie jeebie. We asked what could have caused there to be blood, and the nurse said it could have been a superficial wound, dry cracked skin, a million other reasons. But then she says, “if this happens more often you definitely want to get it checked out”. Thanks for the heads up Einstein. And how does one know that there is blood in their semen if it normal ends up in my va-jay-jay?
The numbers sucked too. I can’t remember all of the details because they rattle everything off so fast, but I believe it was 24 million total in the specimen, so 12 million post wash, but with the motility of 44% it ended up around 13 million in the 1ml sample. That might not make a lot of sense, but the end number of good swimmers post wash was 13 million. Half of what we had last time post wash. Booooo! At this point I’m thinking well this was a waste. But I mean, we’re here and I did the drugs, he produced the spooj (sorry that’s a gross word) so here we go.
It was a lot more uncomfortable this time. The speculum was freaking freezing. They have warming pads for them, but apparently it wasn’t working. Sweet. Stick that ice cold sucker up in there. The catheter was a lot more pinchey and pokey and when she pressed the plunger down and emptied out the chamber there was a fair bit of cramping and discomfort. Even now, in the evening, I am still a bit crampy and bloated. Maybe it’s partly due to my ass kicking ovaries cranking out some little eggies?
So overall, I think we’re fucked this cycle. We’ll still have our “prescribed intercourse” tonight, just to get some more swimmers up in there, and I went to acupuncture tonight, because I may as well go full on. I asked about injectables for our next cycle (if there is a next cycle…the pessimist in me says there will be). The nurse said we would have to see the Dr. about that, and he’s booking into April so I guess if we do one more cycle it will just be my old friend clomid and my two boxes of OPK’s. We made the appointment for April, just in case we decide to continue to pursue more treatment right away (not likely, I would like off this hellish ferris wheel, thankyouverymuch!).
I wore purple underwear, a purple top, my toenails are currently purple (that’s just pure coincidence/laziness that I haven’t repainted them) for luck (I considered making J wear some purple as well, but drew the line at keeping the crazy to myself). I had my charm bracelet on, my fingers, toes and eyes crossed but I don’t know that any of it will help us. Hoping there is some sort of voodoo magic on my side! So now, I wait. I am hoping this wait won’t be as difficult purely because I already think it’s probably failed. Which is a pretty shitty place to be in. So I am going to try and keep busy. Try being the key word, most likely I’ll just be lazing around watching the clock, crossing the days off my calendar.